Friday, June 30, 2006

Pop culure overload


Monkey Barn Picture Show!

It's time for the next Monkey Barn Group Project!

I asked the Monkey Barners to anonymously send me pictures. Pictures they made themselves!

In the comments, vote on your favorite, and the one you think is the best. Monkey Barn points will be awarded. (And if you are a contributor, don't cheat and vote for yours!)







Mel Gibson looks like Osama Bin Laden

I think I found Bin Laden, and he is directing Mel Gibson's new movie.

Sadly, monkey-barners, this shall be my last post. I have enjoyed my time here, but I will not have access to the internet in the next two months (I will be hiding in the mountainous region of Tora Bora).


Weekend Plans

Why don't we take a minute and go around the room and say what we'll be doing this long weekend.

10 Monkey Barn points to the most interesting answer.

I'll start: I plan to write three stories, watch Season 1 of Carnivale, and invent a machine that I can use to zap people and make them feel just a little bit happier (though they won't know why).


Thursday, June 29, 2006


As my father used to say when we would ask him if he knew where something was;

If it were up your ass, you'd know where it is.

Truer words were never spoken, it seems.

Tracy Lynn


They pay adults to dig in the sand?

“Archaeologists in Egypt expecting to find a mummy during their excavation of a burial chamber in Luxor have instead discovered a garland of flowers.”

For the full story - BBC News -

This article was fascinating to me and reminded me how when I was younger (like 5 – 10), I wanted to be an archeologist. So what did you other Barners want to be around that (physical) age?


Pirated causes

I know that Hypey hyped up today in his blog, but I need all the pirate help I can get! Come and support today-it's International Pirates for Picard today!

And, just so that you can get started on your pirate lingo for September 19th, head on over to Talk like a Pirate!

Ahoy! :) LJS

Guess that Celebrity: 9-12 revealed

#9 Kim Il-Jong (or Kim Jong-Il) - as Schrodinger would say, he's no Idi Amin

#10 - Delroy Lindo - My man. I'd put him in every movie I ever make. I think my favorite part was how many of you couldn't grasp the concept that a white face in inverted colors meant a black guy. I mean, George Carlin? LJS loses one of her previously gained points for that. Anonymous would get five bonus points for pointing out you're idiots: but one rule we have at the Institute: posting as Anonymous don't impress me much. Mr./Mrs. Anonymous: in case you're new let me tell you something. Pick a name (doesn't matter what) and post under that. You will quickly become a friend of the Barn and the Institute. Oh, we'll make of you, but that just means we like you. Just ask Kapgar, everyone's favorite lush.

#11 Sigourney Weaver - What's her best performance ever? We need to debate this.

#12 Sandra Bullock - this is the only picture where she has ever looked remotely hot.


Riddle me this

When I'm used, I'm useless, once offered, soon rejected. In desperation oft expressed, the intended not protected. What am I?
Add you guess to the comments and I'll let you know if you're right.


What flavor Icecream are you?

And I'm not telling what I am - you can try to guess.


One more because I love you

Because I like you, I'm going to give you one more Decodaquote. If you want any more, you need to visit Patience "Blood" Rayn's site and order a book: (By the way, I spelled her name wrong yesterday, becuase I got all caught up in the BloodRayne thing. Either way, it's still the coolest name ever. If you do go to her site, they have funny Decodaquotes, ancient ones, inspirational; you name it.

Okay, here you go:



(Clue: O = D)

Let me help you out, people. From Patience's website, here are some things to look for:

Single letter words that represent a or I;

The--the most common word, often beginning sentences;

e--the most common letter;

th--a frequent combination at the start, middle and end of words.

Two two-letter words with the same first letters may be: it is, if it, as an, or of.

When i is third-to-last letter, try ing first.

A repeated letter in the middle of a four-letter word is almost always ee or oo.

A repeated letter at the ends of a four-letter word indicates that, ease, else, high, says and others, but check that first.

A double letter at the end of a word is usually ss, ll or ee.

People is a popular cryptogram word--look for repeats of first-fourth and second-sixth letters.

Letters following an apostrophe are s, t, d, re, ve, and ll. An n precedes ’t.

It helps to reread what you have and to sound out the words.

I know you can do it! (Even you, Tracy)


Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Monkey Chow Diaries

For some time I have been looking around to see if there is anyone insane enough to perhaps compete with the Monkeys here at the Barn. I found this.

Yeah, the weirdness just keeps coming. Some people have WAY too much time on their hands.

Tracy Lynn


I want you to know friends that I asked Kapgar to join the Monkey Barn. I did this because obviously we need some fresh blood around here. The Barners have become like those spoiled animals you see at the zoo: listless, overfed, no longer excited to be in cages, stared at by the unwashed masses.

Kapgar turned me down flat, saying (and I quote), "the only way I would occupy the same space as those miscreants would be if I attended their public hangings, and I say this as a bleeding-heart pansy liberal."

(Fair enough, although one has to ask, if Kapgar disdains Monkey Barn so much, why does he spend 8 hours a day here, taking all the Monkey Barn points through ill-gotten means? The answer, of course, is obvious; he's sweet on someone. But who?)

Anyway, while Kapgar may be an uncouth alcoholic of dubious lineage, his website is pretty sweet, one I visit daily. (In fact, I've been tempted to make him an Evil Kitty of the Realm, but then he'd never leave.)

A couple of days ago Kapgar posted this internet meme of Rainy Day questions.

Some great questions, but easily my favorite was:

5. Dudes, would you rather have a big dick or a great sense of humor? Ladies, nice tits & ass or common sense?

Now I'm not sure about the guys. (Frankly, I don't know which one I'd give up.) But girls, c'mon. Is there a woman alive that would take the common sense? Be honest.


Patience Rayne rules

There's this thing in the paper called "Decodaquote" by Patience Rayne. Basically it's a substitution cipher. My mom loves them, and lately Kaida has forced me to send her the Decodaquote each day, as they don't have them in her paper.

Patience Rayne sounds like a video game name, doesn't it? (Actually, wouldn't it be cool if her full name was Patience Blood Rayne? She and I are good friends, so I think I'll ask her about this.)

I'm not sure of my legal footing here, but I'm pretty sure that Patience will be cool with it, especially if it gets people interested in her stuff, so I'm giving you a Decodaquote from the other day. There are no points being awarded here, so don't reveal the answer. Just leave a comment when youv'e figured the whole thing out. The two words after the quote is who said it, and there is a clue to get you started. Each letter represents another letter, and it represents that letter throughout the quote. So if X =Z, then every X would be a Z. Have at it.

Clue: (D=P)

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Guess that Celebrity #12

Guess that Celebrity #11


Guess that Celebrity #10

Guess that Celebrity #9

Just to go over the rules again:

1) Do not talk about Guess That Celebrity

2) Do not talk about Guess That Celebrity

3) Do not cheat!

4) Only one guess (the Kaida rule)

5) Do not leave cute guesses (the Kapgar rule)

6) Do not cheat and then leave the answer (The Kapgar sucks rule)

7) Hyperion Institute points for the first person to get it right (and possible bonus points for the funniest answer), which are redeemable for Institute merchandise.

Go to it!

Monday, June 26, 2006

It's a bird, it's a plane (it's a quadrapalegic!)

I wasn't really into the new Superman movie, but two specials I recently saw made me change my mind. As they are playing all week, I thought you might want to catch them too.

A&E has a special called Look up into the sky! The amazing story of Superman! The show traces the history of Superman, from the Action comics to modern day. Many subjects are tackled, including the so-called curse, how Christopher Reeve was selected, and various other incarnations. Breezy in that A&E style and well worth the time.

Even better, last night The Discovery Channel premiered The Science of Superman. Basically, they go through and try to explain the physics of Superman's various abilities. Sounds far-fetched, but actually only one of the famous exploits of Superman do the scientists agree is impossible. (Guess which?) Even though I was still sick when it came on, I watched The Science of Superman, and liked it so much I watched it again two hours later. Hardcore recommended.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Celebrities 1-8 revealed

Since all the Celebrities have been guessed, I thought I'd go ahead and revealed the undoctored pix.

Leave a comment and let me know if you want to do this again.

#1 - Michael J. Fox (I thought the older picture of him might be hard.) Points go to Kapgar (unless he's cheating; more on that later)

#2 Viggo Mortensen - Kaida guessed him first, but she cheated, so points go to Lady Jane Scarlett

#3 Jennifer Garner - Points go to Lady Jane Scarlett, although she loses a point for not knowing how to spell. (BTW, Shrodinger claims this is her, but I have a hard time believing it. I mean, sure she's that beautiful, but she's way too smart to ever get knocked up by a no-talent hack like Ben Affleck.)

#4 Aretha Franklin - Points to Lady Jane Scarlett. Maybe I should look into whether she's cheating. (By the way, I'm ashamed to admit this, but I couldn't find her initially because I always spell Aretha like she's an unmentionable body part)

#5 Paul Reuben (aka Pee Wee Herman) - I thought the different facial features would throw you off. Points to Kapgar again. Who thinks that Kapgar and LJS should be prohibited from playing anymore?

#6 Jennifer Garner, I mean Yoda - Sea Hag finally breaks the LJS-Kapgar Love connection.

#7 Eva Longoria - Points shared by Kapgar (who thinks he's so cute) and Tiff. Side Note: Maxim named her the hottest woman on the planet two years in a row. I mean, she's hot and all, but #1 two straight years? (This has never happened.) Someone explain this to me.

#8 Jodie Foster - When I saw that Kapgar got it I was suspicious that he cheated. Then I went back and read the comments, and he admitted changing it in Photoshop. J'Accuse, Mr. Cheater! I can't believe I brought you into the house of Aitch, fed you, made you a freaking detective with a drinking problem, and this is how you repay me!!!!! You're banned from "Guess that Celebrity," Buddy! (Although your money is still good at the bar.)

So, do we do more of these?

Guess that Monkey Barn Signature (#1)

Kitty humor

This was just too adorable to not share with y'all. :) LJS

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Guess that Celebrity (#3)

By now you know the rules.

Guess that Celebrity (#2)

The first "Guess that Celebrity" ended so quickly I thought I'd go ahead and put up the next one.


No hints this time