Le'ts say you HAD to sleep with someone not your spouse/mate/GF/BF/whatever.
Further, let's say that
A) No one will ever find out.
B) Both you and the person will forget after one week
C) It has to be a famous person, not someone you'll run into at lunch. (I'm onto you, Wordnerd.)
Actually, let's ramp it up. You have to sleep with 4 people!
1) - One living person of the opposite sex
2) - One living person of the same sex
3) - One dead person (for the purposes of sex they will come back to life, unless you like it like that, you perv)
4) - One fictional person.
I will give points for the best answer.
I reserve the right to change my mind, but for right now I have:
#1) (opposite sex) Cate Blanchett - find me someone better at what she does than she, and I might consider switching. 
#2) (same sex) Thomas Sowell - Possibly the smartest Social Economist in the world: I would hope his tender kisses resulted in increased knowledge for me. 
#3) (dead) Joan of Arc - She was deadly fierce, led by God, could ride all day long, and I'm pretty sure was under-age. 
#4) (fictional) Aphrodite - She's the embodiment of all Love and Desire. How can you not hit that?YOUR TURN!
1. Sarah Silverman
ReplyDelete2. Michael J. Fox - with all the shaking, it would be over quickly.
3. Madeleine Kahn
4. Hermione Granger
1.Scarlett Johanson
ReplyDelete2.That Johnny Depp seems like he could be construed as pretty
3.I am gonna have to go with Grace Kelly.
4.Rachel Morgan of the Kim Harrison books
1. Viggo Mortenson (sigh)
ReplyDelete2. Kate Winslet (she's lovely)
3. Ghengis Khan (I bet I can make this tiger purr like a kitten)
4. Indiana Jones (there's nothing sexier than a man who knows how to use a whip)
Here by Sparky Duck...LOL.
ReplyDelete1) Ryan Seacrest because the world needs to know if he's really a heterosexual or not.
2)Hillary Clinton out of pity. She looks like she could use a good fuck and she sure as hell ain't getting it at home.However, I would slap her around and call her a bitch.
3)Anna Nicole Smith because I feel left out.
4)Stewie Griffin because he's the sexiest baby ever.
1) Johnny Depp in the Captain Jack Sparrow costume (would that also count towards number 4?)
ReplyDelete2) Gisele Bundchen - do I actually have to explain that?
3) Black Leather Elvis - after saying "Thank you, Thank you very much" he gets up and makes me a fried peanut butter and banana sammich... yum!
4) Inspector Gadget
Avitable - Sarah Silverman? Really? Even after Chewing the Dog's ass? Madeline Kahn is dead? Hermione from which book? I'd say Book 4. Before then she's a bit of a prig, and after then she's almost 16.
ReplyDeleteSparky Duck - I'm coming to the conclusion that Scarlett can only act as one character, so no from me for now. Grace Kelly all day and all night.
Dragon - this is a muthafucking perfect list. I would sleep with all of those people, and three of them are men!
the 108 - Ryan MF'n Seacrest? I'd rather have Simon Cowell, although the pressure to perform would be high. (Or Randy, except you know he'd want it doggy style.) Hillary Clinton is a great choice. I've wondered for years what it would take for me to be allowed to slap the shit out of her and call her a bitch. Grudge-fucking = Brilliant. Anna Nicole; hilarious answer. Stewie WOULD be awesome.
Anndi - Depp is a chain-smoker; ugh! I heard Gisele might be available; she only goes with winners. Gadget would be sweet (Go Go Gadget EXTENDOR!), but I'd take a menage a trois with Penny and Brain.
Hell yeah, even after chewing the dog's butt. Kahn's been dead for years, and I'd say Book 4, too.
ReplyDelete1) Demi Moore
ReplyDelete2) A young Sean Connery
3) Marilyn Monroe
4) Jessica Rabbit
Yeah, I chose Seacrest because I figure that while we're doing it he can give me some excellent pointers on getting highlights.
ReplyDeleteAvitable - I guess it's true what they say about you: you do talk a lot of shit.
ReplyDeleteBond - Major props for Marilyn and especially Jessica Rabbit. You have to take Sean as is, so you'll need some geritol. Demi Moore? Are you kidding me? If you're going to pick someone who can't act, at least take Jessica Alba.
the 108 - This is your one free celebrity pop. Why not take someone you'd enjoy. If highlights are your biggest priority, at least go with Brad Pitt. That man has gorgeous hair. And I've been meaning the ask you, are you THE 108, as in the #, or the 108, as in the 108th embodiment of the Yurgi Lama?
Talk it, eat it, whatever.
ReplyDeleteAvitable - To coin a brand new portmanteau (heretofore unknown on this Earth), You're a coprophaniac!
ReplyDeleteHmmm... Brad Pitt... yes. But he has to leave the Bennetton kids at home.
ReplyDeletethe108... beads on a Buddhist rosary...malas.
Here via Sparky Duck. Gotta love a sex meme!
ReplyDelete1. Johnny Depp - me and every other person out there. I could give a rats ass if he is a chain smoker as long as I could be part of the coital in post coital smoke :P
2. Shirley Manson - lead singer of Garbage. She is just too cute and sings raunchy shit while being too cute. Totally a team switcher.
3. I have lots of dead guys on my list. Cause I am goth like that. It's a tie between Brandon Lee in full Crow makeup and Michael Hutchence circa 1987 INXS.
4. This was the hardest of them all. I read too much and see waaay too many movies. It's a tie with one from a book and one from a movie. Lloyd Dobler the ultimate Gen X Crush and Rhett Butler cause I wanna know if he lives up to his press.
Who cares if he's a chain smoker.. have you had a good look at him?
ReplyDeleteAnd I have to agree with Starrlight about Lloyd Dobler... and Michael Hutchence...
the 108 - I had to ask my gf what Benetton was. I was having trouble Googling it because you spelled it wrong (proper grammar not being a big component of Buddhism). Once I got it ("United Colors of Benetton"), I laughed. That's very clever! Buddhists are funny (see the initial Anna Nicole comment). Who knew? I'm going to post about funny Buddhists.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Wikipedia says it's mala, not malas. Is this more Buddhist grammar, or is there more to it than I know?
starlight - Why am I the only one who thinks kissing a chain-smoker would be gross? And you can forget about me licking his chest; nicotine probably comes off in waves. Shirley Manson is a great choice. I read an interview with her once where she said her ideal date is to have the boy at the kitchen table with his mother while she's underneath blowing him. She'd probably be up for some linoleum licking. (I know longer use the term "rug munching," as so many women are going with the shaved look.) Rhett Butler's not a bad choice either, but I'd take Errol Flynn, if we're checking reps.
Oh, and not to be a jerk (especially to a new reader, but THIS IS NOT A MEME!!!!!11 See this column for more details: Retro-Meme
anndi - I'm sorry if I look at a person's inner beauty, their heart and soul more than just their body. You women and your superficial lust...
Starlight - I was on the phone with Hype when he read your comment and he had a girlie freak out when you called this a meme. It was hilarious! Thanks for the best laugh I've had in days.
ReplyDeleteStarrlight breaks the Hyperion meme taboo, yet still gets props for the rest of her answers. But hell Starr is all about taboos
ReplyDeleteI suppose I was going for plural?
ReplyDeleteI did spell Benetton wrong. I blame this on my cousin, Missy, who bought all of her clothes there which irritated me. As a result, I refused to ever purchase that yuppie shit and really couldn't remember what the sign on the outside of the store looked like :-P
Kaida - It was not a "girlie" freak out. It was a dignified and civilized disapprobation at our society for miseducmacating poor Starrlight into thinking that a Question is a meme.
ReplyDeleteSparky Duck - You're responsible for the behavior of anyone you send over. Just so you know. Keep a handle on your harem.
the 108 - I thought Buddhists were not allowed to be irritated. Or say "shit." There's a lot I dont' know about Buddhists, my knowledge generally limited to THE TAO OF STEVE and this one King of the Hill episode where Bobby was almost a Lama. I will have to do me some learnin'.
Yeah, I'm a really bad Buddhist. Although I'm always very nice to everyone.
ReplyDeleteWe're allowed to be irritated. We just have to be very aware of it :-)
I'd be all about Lloyd Dobbler.
ReplyDeleteAs for the others? Hmmmm. I'm still on a "Catch and Release" fan girl phase, so that MAY affect my answers.
1. Timothy Olyphant
2. Angelina Jolie
3. Now that'd be a toss up between Michael Hutchence and Cary Grant.
4. Lloyd Dobbler or Heathcliff.
the 108 - Sounds more Jewish than Buddhist
ReplyDeleteLady Jane Scarlett - As for Timmy, only in Deadwood. In everything else he's a sniveling punk. Angelina is too obvious. I think you would enjoy the soft curves of Marissa Tomei. What's up with Michael Hutchence? The dude offed himself, and you want the first thing he does once back from the dead is devour you? As for Heathcliff: I know you love lolcats, but that's ridiculous!