Don't Ever Drink from Hotel Glasses!

Koz sent me this. You'll never look at hotels the same way again....




Don't Ever Drink From Hotel Glasses

P.O.D. - Li'l Koz Style

Two nights ago Koz and Teela welcomed their second child into the world.

Joining their boy Storm Shadow they now have the Baroness. I figured in honor the least we could do is give Koz and Teela--and the little B.--the Picture of the Day.

Internet Fuckwad Theory:

What I have to be thankful for - A

There are many 'A' words to be thankful for and many whole words to be thankful for. I can't list them all here so this is my short list of A whole words (and A whole phrases):

Anna Benson – there are actually 2 reasons why I am thankful for Anna

Atlanta – With out this great city I wouldn’t have a place to call home I also wouldn’t have my Atlanta Braves to cheer for. Also this is the last bastian for Republicans.

African Americans – Everyone should be thankful for them. Without them we would all be dorks. They define all things cool and then that coolness trickles down to (most of) us white people. Unfortunately when it gets to us we play it out until it’s no longer cool (bling, bling?). Too bad this trickle down effect doesn’t work for anyone of Indian descent.

Amp – Ahh sweet nectar of the Gods (but manufactured by Mt.Dew)

America, United States of – I still don’t know why the world hates us? I am allowed to have a 5 car garage, right?

Apples – They keep the doctor away (and Microsoft too)

Give Thanks

Koz

Don't leave home without it

This RaceCard first appeared on Lindsog.com - but is now part of a commercial message issued by our friends at HipHopRepublican.com (Republicans while Black) - complete with customer testimonials!

Are you Black and got pulled over going 40 in a 25 mph speed limit? Then the RaceCard may be just the thing for ya! Have you ever found yourself walking while Black? Eating while Black? Or perhaps mugging someone while Black? Hitting an officer while Black? If so, child, you have come to the right place!~ Get your RaceCard today! It's a free product, so hurry while America still feels your pain! Don't take our word for it - read customer testimonials!Customer Testimonials


I have been ordering from you for about 40 years now and find your products to be of top quality and your service quick and efficient. The RaceCard is a must have!- Rev Jessie Jackson






Thank you for the quick service I received this month on my order, especially with the elections at hand. I got caught on tape punching a cop - but thank God for the RaceCard! Without it my ass would be in jail. The Race Card is a must have and I will be ordering many, many, more of them!- Rep. Cynthia McKinney





I use the RaceCard product in my ministry. I have tried several products but the RaceCard is the best. And it's always on time! Thank you for a free product for every occasion!- Rev. Al Sharpton







Ooh child things are gonna get easier now that I got my RaceCard!- Congresswoman Maxine Waters




KOZ

Tiger Woods a spaz?

Apparently if you say 'spaz' in the UK its's like saying 'nigger' in the US. Tiger Woods used the 'S word' and all of the British papers are going crazy about it. I'm sure he didn't mean to offend anyone and the word just got lost in translation as it crossed the Atlantic, I mean who do they think he is Fuzzy Zoeller? If I ever make $315k for 4 days work you better bet I'll be using all kinds of words people don't like.

KOZ

Haikus - because Koz can't rhyme

Haiku 1

rollin' on fat dubs
pickin' up my hos downtown
i'm a bad ass pimp

Koz salutes the Academy (from the operating room)

Best actor
Philip Seymour Hoffman

Best actress
Felicity Huffman

Best director
Ang Lee

Best picture
Brokeback Mountain

Best sound mixing
Walk the Line

Best supporting actor
Paul Giamatti

Best supporting actress
Rachel Weisz

Best adapted screenplay
Munich

Best original screenplay
Match Point

Binge drinking on campus AND Koz answers the important questions - tonight on Dateline

1. Do you chew your mashed potatoes?

YES

2. If terrorists got their hands on massive quantities of a toxic biological agent and threatened to release it, exterminating all life on earth, unless you had sex with a internationally famous person of the same gender, who would you choose to save the world with?

YES

3. Bear's question

YES

4. If you had to name your child after food, what would you call him/her?

YES

5. What's your super hero power?

YES

6. Do I know what rhetorical means?

YES

7. Do you think that the FCC should develop V-Chips that allow adults to block tv programs from even themselves, thereby preventing their watching 2 Seinfeld reruns, followed by 3 hours of Law and Order?

YES

8. What fairy tale best describes your life so far and what character are you?

YES

9. When somebody uses a word that you don't understand, what do you do? Do you ignore it and nod your head, or do you simply absquatulate and look it up in the dictionary?

YES

10. If you were a piñata, what would you be full of?

YES

Happy New Year

Ok here's a question for the nation: How long after January 1^st is it acceptable to wish someone a "Happy New Year"? I mean is January 2^nd the last possible day to do it without ridicule. Maybe the first time you see/talk to the person in the new year it's acceptable? But what if you don't see or talk to them until July?

Koz

Cypress Hill makes a comeback?

See the video for the Chronic of Narnia

Koz

Worlds Coolest Barbecue Apron

See it here (Possibly offensive to Pastors and their wives)

And the Runner-up

Koz