Emma Thompson to the rescue

You know, my friends, there was a time (and I call this time "1993) when I was in love with Emma Thompson. No longer does the flame of passion burn through my soul, but I am still quite fond of her.

This clip, from the Cesars (France's version of The Oscars), shows why. (You only need to watch about the first 1:45 or so.)

Césars 2009 : 34° Cérémonie / Julie Ferrier
Uploaded by websilone

There is one more piece of information to this story but I will put that in the comments so as to not spoil the surprise.

P.O.D. - Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston is on the January cover of GQ.






I seem to recall she was on the cover of GQ once before.



If Brad and Angelina have any more kids, Jen might make it to Playboy yet.

Daily Lynx - Loenbrau!

I have divided up the Daily Lynx into High Brow, Middle Brow, and Monkey Brow. DON'T JUST SKIP TO THE LAST ONES!


High Brow

1. A couple of interesting articles on Slate.com lately. One of them details the 80 most powerful people over 80. Not surprisingly, most were white men (since power and influence is generally accrued over time, and working backwards....); in fact, some of the non traditional choices smacked of quota filling. Still, it was a fascinating list. I knew fifty-some of them by sight, and twenty more by their name, but a few were complete mysteries to me. Worth checking out.


2. Christopher Hitchens (my favorite liberal apart from the Monkey Barn Bitches), has an interesting article on Pakistan constituting the major new threat. I don't share his optimism that a politician will honor his previous words (even one who walks on water, like Obama apparently does), but Hitchens is one of the foremost experts in the world on the Middle East, and always has inciteful and unique things to say.


3. I meant to post this back when Biden and Palin were being put through the paces, but the word "vet" has an interesting etymology. I was watching Larry King when Biden was selected, and not one of Larry's panel of "experts" knew the origins. Turns out it's exactly what it sounds like, and perfect for politics.


4. Here is Jon Voigt talking about John McCain. You know, I'd have like to have been a fly on the wall in Angelina's house growing up, to see what actually happened there. Or, you know, a fly in her shower.


Middle Brow

5. Speaking of flies, from the "Why the Fuck?" category, they are making an opera of Jeff Goldblum's The Fly. Why why why, sing about the Fly?


6. Combining the high-brow of sophisticated aesthetics and the low-brow prurience of sex, Wolford has designed the world's most entime stockings. Yowza! I spent at least two hours on this site. I've always been an "all the meats of our cultural stew" kind of guy, but Wolford makes you want to be a leg-man.



Monkey-Brow


7. From a great discovery "Offbeat Earth," I found the post 10 Examples of How to Run a Picture. I stole the first but you got to see the rest to believe them.


I don't know if I like the white boy next to the pink-panther rapper best, the ruined wedding photo, or the last one, which....You know: I'm not even going to describe that one, other than to ask WHO WOULD MAKE THAT PICTURE PUBLIC?????



8. Finally, on Sea Hag's website, she compared Sarah Palin to the therapist on the Sopranos. Not bad. However, I have heard it mentioned that Palin might look more like the hot-teacher stripper (Miss Davis) in VARSITY BLUES. Her name is Tonie Perensky, and to the left is the only decent picture I could find. (It doesn't do the comparison justice.) Miss Davis comes out on the dance floor in this teacher outfit....with those glasses, and the rest is history.

Anyway, while I don't have a good comparison pic, maybe I can do one better. Incdredibly NSFW, I have still pictures of the striptease itself. (Or, if you want to join the club, you can see the movie clip, or hundreds of thousands of other nudity movie clips. Or you can buy me a subscription, and earn eternal cunilingus!)

Those are your Daily Lynx. Enjoy and use them well.

Naked Woman Pictures Gain Popularity on the Internet

[This article comes from The Onion. I have reprinted it here because the original link contains the picture they are talking about, which some of you can't/shouldn't go to. But if you're brave, and have an understanding boss, see the article in full context here]

SAN FRANCISCO—According to leading web experts, a photo of an unidentified naked woman has caused an online sensation after appearing on the Internet sometime last week.

The inexplicably popular photograph, which features the woman exposing both breasts as well as providing an unobstructed view of her vagina, has been visited an estimated 750,000 times since it was first discovered two months ago.

[image censored for uptight female readers]

The popularity of "Subject X," as the naked lady is known in academic circles, has baffled researchers.

"For some reason, people cannot seem to get enough of the naked woman picture," said Michael Vianna, a web analyst for Comstar Market Research who has been closely following the trend. "Though the image displays no discernible function or real-world application, it continues to enjoy immense popularity with Internet users. It is utterly perplexing."

Vianna, who closely examined the photograph over several days in an attempt to understand its appeal, said that the nude-lady photo falls completely outside typical uses for the Internet, like checking e-mail or accessing helpful information such as tax laws and driving directions. Even more unusual, the photo contains no information regarding the woman's acting or modeling career, her possible relevance to American history, or name.

"This image contains no encrypted data or practical content of any kind," Vianna said. "Even more baffling is that, in terms of web traffic, this seemingly pointless image has vastly surpassed websites as informative and indispensable as WebMD.com and Yahoo! News."

"If only she were wearing a T-shirt with some slogan on it or standing in front of a national monument, perhaps then we could begin to understand this enigmatic image," Vianna continued. "In the end, however, it is simply a picture of an unclothed female approximately 20 to 30 years of age posed with her breasts and vagina clearly visible."

According to Vianna's research, there are no significant patterns relating to the viewing behavior of those accessing the picture except that the majority of the traffic usually comes late at night. And, though web-usage reports indicate that the naked woman picture interests people of all ages, income brackets, and ethnic backgrounds, there is no evidence that the photo has ever been shared with viewers' family members or coworkers, or featured in a CNN.com photojournalism slide show.

"It appears as if every one of yesterday's 27,430 viewers accessed this specific portrait independently of one another, and may even have searched for it intentionally," Vianna said. "What could have driven them all to seek out this particular photo of an anonymous, undressed woman? We may never know."

Enlarge Image

The unaccountable popularity of outwardly useless Internet content such as the naked woman picture is not unheard of. According to freelance web consultant Joseph Ziarko, these Internet "memes" are difficult to explain, as there are no factors to dictate why something as nonfunctional as a 6 x 9" digital capture of a well-endowed, tan-skinned woman lightly moistened by either sweat or beach water would interest so many people.

"No one really understands why these things catch on," Ziarko said. "Like the Hamster Dance website from a few years back or the recent interest in LOLCats, there is some intangible quality about this photo that thousands of otherwise-normal people find captivating. Maybe the fact that it is in such sharp focus."

Though interest in the photo currently remains high, Ziarko predicted that the Internet-using public will soon tire of the naked woman picture once the web is saturated with images from imitators attempting to duplicate its popularity.

"By next month, the Internet could be home to literally hundreds of pictures of naked women," Ziarko said. "There's simply no way the trend can sustain itself. People will very quickly get bored with the constant barrage of bare breasts and vaginas."

Many experts agree with Ziarko, but others in the field have suggested that the picture could spark a lucrative industry in which images of naked women are licensed to decorate promotional gas-station soda cups.

Anatomy Awards

Every year the Website Mr. Skin presents its "Anatomy Awards," the best in nudity from mainstream American Cinema. Talk about a public service. (By the way, I'd link, but as the site is pornographic, I'd rather not. Feel free to Google if you're so inclined.) Here are the awards for 2007:

Mr. Skin's 9th Annual Anatomy Awards

BREAST PICTURE
 Good Luck Chuck

 BEST NUDE SCENE
 Marisa Tomei - Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

 BEST UNDERWEAR
 Jessica Biel - I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

 BEST CHEST
 Keeley Hazell - Cashback

 BEST TV SHOW
 Tell Me You Love Me (HBO)

 BEST CARTOONY BOOBIES
 Angelina Jolie - Beowulf

 BEST LESBIAN SCENE
 Katherine Moennig and Kristanna Loken - The L Word

 BEST UNRATED DVD SCENE
 Heather Graham - Adrift in Manhattan

 BEST SHORT-FILM NUDE SCENE
 Natalie Portman - Hotel Chevalier

 BEST GROWN UP (AND OUT) CHILD STAR
 Christina Ricci - Black Snake Moan

 FLUFFIEST FULL-FRONTAL
 Julianne Nicholson - Flannel Pajamas

 BEST BUTT
 Gabrielle Richens - Hack!

 MOST NIPTASTIC NIP
 Milla Jovovich - .45

 BEST MAJOR LEAGUERS (ENHANCED)
 Jessica Canseco - Gettin' It

 BEST BONDAGE SCENE
 Holly Hunter - Saving Grace

 BEST HALF-A-LAP
 Kelli Garner - Havoc 2: Normal Adolescent Behavior

 BEST CRACK SLIP
 Karina Smirnoff - Dancing with the Stars

 BEST THONG
 Cameron Richardson - Rise: Blood Hunter

 BEST THREEWAY
 Return to House on Haunted Hill: Unrated

 FUNNIEST NUDE SCENE
 Madeline Zima - Californication

 BEST FOREIGN FILM
 Klimt

 NUDECOMER OF THE YEAR
 Erica Campbell

 LIFETIME SKIN-CHIEVEMENT AWARD
 Rosanna Arquette

I'm not saying you should just go out and watch all of these movies. But it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, either. (I also think they should have one for best old full frontal, and call it Grey's Anatomy, but that's just me.)

Hyperion's 2007 Christmas Present to You

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