I like looking through the Hatland.com website because it's one of the few places that regularly stocks hats my size. I was browsing through the other day and saw a "Holiday" section, and simply loved these three.
Santa vs. Turkey (Who Ya Got?)
How on Earth has this not been made into a treasured Holiday special? (buy it here)
Christmas Lights
I think this looks sweet. Maybe I'm an idiot. They also had it in white, but black makes the most sense. (Buy it here)
Santa Skull
Don't know why, but this just spoke to me. (Buy it here)
IMPORTANT NOTE - all pictures are copyrighted by hatland.com - I hope they won't mind me borrowing them since I'm giving a plug. So you know, I do this of my own accord because I love the hats. I get no payment or kickback of any kind.
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. "In honor of this holy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes the spirit Christmas to get into heaven."
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents the Advent Candle," he said.
"You may pass through the pearly gates." Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "The ringing of the bells."
Saint Peter nodded in approval and ushered the man in.
The third man has been searching desperately through his pockets the whole time and finally pulled out a pair of lacy red women's panties.
St. Peter stares at the man, raising his eyebrow in question. "And how how do these symbollize Christmas?"
Our Christmas tree came down Saturday, the earliest Calendar date I can ever remember.
Since we all grow up with our own experience, we tend to think it's normal. However, I doubt most people routinely have their tree up until the Super Bowl. So I ask you:
What day in December (or November?!?) do you usually put up your tree, and by what day do you take it down?
Others have taken up where you fell, the line has held.
Peace, peace, and farewell...
Readers may be interested to know that these wreaths -- some 5,000 -- are donated by the Worcester Wreath Co. of Harrington,Maine. The owner, Merrill Worcester, not only provides the wreaths, but covers the trucking expense as well. He's done this since 1992. A wonderful guy. Also, most years, groups of Maine school kids combine an educational trip to DC with this event to help out. Making this even more remarkable is the fact that Harrington is in one the poorest parts of the state.
Please share this with everyone on your address list. You hear too much about the bad things people do. Everyone should hear about this.
Also (this is weird), in my guest post, I talk about the many different versions of Blue Christmas. I found a website that plays nothing but that song.
Reuters – A man repacks sugar in packets on sale for 6.70 pesos ($0.36) on a table at a public market in Taguig …
Many supposed holiday hazards are as innocuous as a tepid mug of apple cider. A review article in the current issue of the British Medical Journal cites five fears that can officially be crossed off the holiday worry list.
Myth 1: Sugar makes kids hyperactive.
"There have been more studies on this than on many drugs," said article author Dr. Aaron Carroll of the Indiana University School of Medicine, "all of which show there is no link between sugar and hyperactivity." Even if the kids are "sugar sensitive" or have attention-deficit disorder, he continued, sweets do not change their behavior.
Parents may think their kids become more chaotic after candy and other treats but "it is in their heads," said primary author Dr. Rachel Vreeman, also of the Indiana University School of Medicine. She pointed to a study that told parents their kid was slurping a sugar-loaded beverage, when the drink instead was essentially water. The parents reported the child going bonkers when objective observers thought otherwise, she said.
Myth 2: Suicides increase over the holidays.
The weather is woeful, the relatives are rude and melancholy moods abound. "But contrary to what many of us think, suicides are actually more common, around the world, during times of year that are warmer and sunnier," Vreeman said. The article also cites a 35-year study conducted in the United States showing that holidays - including Christmas, the Fourth of July and birthdays - are not preferred times to take one's life.
Myth 3: Poinsettias are toxic.
Shooing the dog or child away from the perilous plant of holiday cheer? Let the hollering subside. The American Association of Poison Control Centers has a record of 22,793 cases of human poinsettia ingestion and zero resulted in significant poisoning. Ninety-six percent of the poinsettia-eaters didn't even need to see a doctor, Vreeman said. And rats that gobbled several hundred grams of the pureed flower, the equivalent of a human eating 500-600 poinsettia leaves, did just fine. Still, it's best to call the poison control center when any non-food plant is eaten, she said.
Myth 4: You lose most of your body heat through your head.
Your mother said it. Every hat salesman touts it. Even the U.S. Army Field Manual claims "40 to 45 percent of body heat" is lost through the head, the researchers write in this week's article, but it is simply not true. Body heat leaves from any skin surface in proportion to the area exposed, said Vreeman. As for people who claim a hat renders shorts acceptable in cold weather? "Those people are being very, very foolish," Carroll said. "There is nothing special about the head."
Myth 5: Eating at night makes you fat.
While eating late at night has been associated with obesity, midnight munching does not cause obesity. "You shouldn't be afraid to have that midnight snack anymore than a mid-day or mid-morning snack," Carroll said. The article, citing several studies, suggests that Santa's jolly belly is the result of too many calories overall, not just the holiday treats laid out for him in the evening.
Carroll and Vreeman's book "Don't Swallow Your Gum: Myths, Half-truths, and Outright Lies About Your Body and Health" will be published in 2009 by St. Martin Press.
I have some more great gifts, for girls, guys, and even kids!
Eddie Bauer Smart Mug - This thing plugs into your cigarette lighter in your car to keep your coffee/cocoa/blood warmer longer!
Internet Radio Jukebox - You plug this into your computer's USB port, and it allows you to select from 13,000 radio stations all over the world. No software needed, no monthly cost, and you can save your favorites right to the Jukebox so that you can take it with you! ($25)
The Shred Sled - It's a skateboard, but the two halves are separate, joined at the middle. the practical effect of this is to allow much more autonomous movement in each section. The website claims you don't have to push off and you can even go uphill. Not sure how that works, but the videos seem pretty cool. The idea is that it feels more like a snowboard than a skateboard. ($100)
i-Spin Portable DJ Mixer - Let's get this party stared, right?! For all you would-be House DJs who are also snobby enough to have IPods, the perfect gift for you to retain your mad flavor without giving up your merlot. Instead of sticking records on a turntable, old scool, you stick in IPods and use the music to scratch out sounds. It doesn't injure the music like a record player might, and they even have mini turn-tables for manipulation. You'll be the hit of the country club! (Sorry for the bitterness. I consider anyone with an IPod to be an insufferable Park Avenue snob, but this thing is kinda cool.)
and our best in show......
VADO Pocket Video Cam - Now THIS is a cool gift. It's a camcorder the size of a cellphone. You can take up to two hours of video and then download it directly to your computer via the USB port. No fuss, no muss. Great for capturing those "moments" that come up quickly. Birthday greetings to Grandma, clips to your website (or even Monkey Barn, hint hint). Comes in pink and silver. I would use this. In fact, I think I'll put it on my Amazon Wish List right now.
Skittles sent me some Jeff Dunham Christmas videos to brighten your day. (The girl isn't even in Monkey Barn, and she puts the regular Monkeys to shame. I'm going to have to make her a regular member right soon.)
TREE SAP
ACHMED - (I'm actually not a big fan of the Achmed bits. Kinda rubs me the wrong way, so i'm just going to give you the link for this one) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfYrkW3F9K8
HANUKKAH (I'm pretty inconsistent with what bothers me, because this one is hilarious)
Yesterday I posted some gifts for guys; today I have some for you lovely ladies.
From the world of coiture, Wal-Mart has a Bubble Coat for only $12. This is perhaps the most amazing deal I've ever seen. It's labled as "juniors," but according to the reviews that's inccorect; the coats are quite large and roomy. I love this purple, but there is also black. Don't thank me now.
Continuing our Fashion Phalanx, Macy's is offering Cashmere Sweaters (normall 110-130 dollars), for $60. I have never owned a cashmere anything, but chicks like this, right? The above link is V-neck, but there is also shawl-collar, turtle neck and boat neck, for those so inclined. (I had some trouble with the specific links; if you do too, use the first link and just click on women, then sweaters, then scroll down.)
Shifting gears slightly, we have the Snuggie. Basically it's a blanket with sleeves, since chicks always seem to be cold. I refuse to write anything else about this. Watch the damn video, you big babies.
Speaking of babies......
So, I was talking to someone last night, and somehow the subject of babydoll lingerie came up. (And what do you talk to you grandma about?) I got led to this "plus size" website called HipsAndCurves.com. First of all, I continue my outrage at Big Fashion. What the F**k, people?
There's nothing wrong with a big girl; I myself could flatten a house. But these girls are not what I would call plus anything. They're normal-sized. I cannot imagine that straight men make these decisions, since straight men tend to like regular-sized women. You know, with hips and curves. Therefore, I lay the blame at the feet of Straight Women and Gaydom.
Clean up your act, Fashionistas! Quit trying to relabel the queens! (There are some great babydolls here, by the way, for perfectly normal girls. If you happen to buy one, the least you could do is send me a picture of you in said garment.
Up next: cool gadgetry for men, women, boys or girls. (But not haters who decide on fashion.)
