(from http://www.fmylife.com/)
Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend and she was grabbing the fat on my stomach I said to her "stop touching my fat". She replied "so don't touch you at all?" FML[Hyperion - if a man said that to a woman....oh, man. I'm already cringing.]
Today, my over-protective mom decided to do a blacklight test on my room to make sure I wasn't doing the naughty in my bed. The bed was clean. My face wasn't. FML
[Hyperion - I'm not sure what's more disgusting; her whorriness or her lack of hygeine.]
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I needed someone to talk to because I just found out my aunt has cancer. She told me to talk to her in an hour, Spongebob was on. FML
Today, I woke up a little after seven. I felt sick to my stomach because last night was my bachelor party and I drank more than I ever have before. I checked my phone, and I had received 42 missed calls. It was seven o'clock pm. Today was my wedding day. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text telling me to turn the radio on to a certain station. When I did, there was a talk show on, and the host was ranting about how important it is for women to control themselves and not be emotional. My boyfriend continued texting me, asking if I was listening. FML
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "because you can't find a real girl I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
[Hyperion - That's just brutal. ]
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