Alexander McQueen: Old Mother Hubbard's Worst Nightmare

I saw the news that Alexander McQueen died, which is sad. (Not to me personally, as I didn't know him, but he was only 40 and died by his own hand, and if that wasn't enough, I heard the news while I was watching a Law & Order SVU that centered around the right to take your own life, which added to the galvony.)

McQueen was a Fashion Designer, known especially for his shoes. I looked some of them up and my eyes almost popped.  Love them or Hate them (and at first glance I did some of both), McQueen's designs are utterly memorable.  

Also - not for nothin' - but did McQueen hate women?  I'm not sure how if chicks can even walk in these shoes!  Anway, I pulled a few of the ones I liked, didn't like or wasn't sure. In all cases, I won't soon forget Alexander McQueen. 

SHOES I DESPISE

Ugh! You'd have to be a Feather-Brain to wear these Feather shoes. And what's up with that strap? It's so ruins whatever effect he's going for, like a Monster Movie where you can see the puppet wires. 

I'm almost positive I would break up with a girl if she had these shoes. Not for the shoes themselves (what a waste of cool black gemstones!) but because it tells you in shorthand everything you need to know about the girl. Twenty bucks says that within a month she'd be demanding to use a strap-on with you - and that wasn't a high-heel reference!

More Feathers? I want to hide. 

Mother of Thereisnogod - what would possess a woman to wear any of these shoes? I wouldn't break up with a woman if I saw her wearing these - I'd call Animal Control!

SHOES NOT REALLY FOR ME, BUT I CAN SEE HOW SOME WOMEN WOULD GO FOR THEM

These are silly, but they have a little somethin'-somethin' going for them.  I'd probably laugh, but any woman with the courage to try these (who also didn't take herself too seriously) would be okay in my book.

Even more ridiculous, or possibly cooler - I can't decide which. By the way, shows you what a dork I am (looking into the practicality and all) - but my favorite part of these is the ankle-wrap - might help reduce swelling!

Tries a little too hard, but not offensive in any way. 

Ditto here.

You gotta tip your had to any woman brave enough to combine metal and leather in such a unique way.  By the way - any chick I see wearing these gets called "Slinky" for the rest of her life. 

While I would not only fear for my life, but my very soul if I saw a woman wearing these...Gladiator heels? - I wouldn't run away, either.  At least, not at first.

A friend once told me that seeing a particular pair of shoes in a store window made her "clit quiver." (her words, NOT mine) I can't say I completely understand the feeling - although when I got my only pair of Air Jordans I did feel kinda funny - but anyway, these last few pairs all have a pretty high "Wow" factor. wouldn't blame you for some quivering.  Wouldn't blame you a bit. 

SHOES I LIKE

Simple, refined, elegant, and yet spectacular.  Pretty damn awesome. 

While something about the color reminds me of my grandma's lipstick, I have to admit these shoes are really nice. I don't think I would want to sleep with a woman who was wearing them, but I would definitely trust her to sell my house. 

Okay, maybe the Heart cut-outs are a little too "Rachael Ray on the Town," but c'mon - alligator shoes! I like 'em.

[Hyperion says nothing but simply whistles, low-pitched and softly, very impressed by the passion and hypnotic grace in the shoes.]

Okay, now here's a shoe that GETS IT.  The soul of a Biker-Babe jacket - with the skull zipper, pulled down just to give a peek - these shoes are over-the-top but in this case that's a good thing. I generally don't like heels that have so many damn material to them - but I throw out all the rules, here.  A shoe that is in on the joke, funny and sexy. They got everything but a steel toe! 

Feel free to send me more McQueen shoes if they speak to you passionately and I will post them later. For now I leave you with one more - and the scary thing is, I honestly don't know if he meant women to wear this. What scares me more - some would.