Friday, November 14, 2008

Know your tattoos

Dear celebrities,

Please dear Flying Spaghetti Monster, would some more famous people please get tattoos and wreck a few marriages and adopt everyone in the Ukraine so that every time I put the word 'tattoo' in any search engine I don't come up with anything related to Angelina Jolie?

I really don't like or dislike her, honestly, but her tattoos aren't even that good! I hate that she has become like the poster child of tattoo wearers who aren't ex-cons or Hell's Angels. The one on her shoulder in whatever moon language they speak in Cambodia is very pretty, and I think the idea of having the coordinates of where all her kids were born is a neat one, but all the rest of them are pretty poorly executed. The aren't aligned very well, or are sloppy cover-ups (like the kids' coordinates that sort-of cover up Ye Olde Billy Bob Tattoo), or are just the boring stuff that you spot on the wall at a parlor and have slapped on in 20 minutes after a drunken stumble out of a bar. If I had her cash I'd invest in a beautiful piece of artwork by the best tattoo artist I could find.

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