Holy Men and the Three Bears

A priest, a Baptist preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students at the University of Northern British Columbia, Fort St. James campus. The three would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, but a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannigan, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages on his body and limbs, goes first.

"Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find a bear and when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed,

"WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND ME a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a crick. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in real bad shape. The Rabbi looks up and says,

"Looking back on it, I suppose circumcision may not have been the best way to start."