Health experts are quietly warning of a new menace to women visiting the beach, beyond sharks, sunburn and European men in Speedos: VSD. Vaginal-Silica Disease, or what beach residents call "Sandy Vagina." Most sand is made of Silica (Silicon Dioxide, SiO2), usually in the form of crushed quartz, which most of us know as sand. The problem is the chemical reactions of the Silicon Dioxide with the inner lining of the cervix. Women and Silicone have had a troubled history. In the late '80s and early '90s there was a scare with Silicone Breast Implants, and Dow Chemical even had to stop making most of their Silicone implants.
Apparently something very similar is happening again. "Certain women react toxically to Silicon Dioxide, or sand," said Dr. Ramalla of Atlanta's CDC in an interview on Friday. "Sand gets into the vagina, and effectively starts shredding the inner wall." Doctors in Florida have reported a 49% increase in incidents of Environmental Endometriosis, just one of the possible complications. More common are reports of increased irritability, moodiness and irrational thoughts, although as one anonymous RN put it, "You put sand up my [vagina], I'm gonna be pissy, too." It is not known if something in the water is chemically altering the sand, or if the problem stems from the much skimpier bathing suits currently in vogue on Florida's beaches.