Rumor #2

Oprah may be preparing to step away from the Airwaves next June but is not quite ready to give up her Empire.  AP is reporting that HARPO Inc. (the company that syndicates Oprah's show) is negotiating with the 2245 stations where Oprah is currently seen to keep the timeslot when the mogul retires. To do that she needs a replacement with star power. Later this year, during a planned 3 week hiatus, rather than re-runs AP reports that Oprah will give three different people auditions. Each audition will be a week's worth of shows, and they will run under Oprah's name.  The identity of these three guest-hosts has been a closely guarded secret, but TMZ is reporting that former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin, reality-star Kate Gosselin and Lindsay Lohan will get the nods.  Palin's star power is obvious and it is thought she would be able to hold the "middle America" audience.  Gosselin has recently made a name for herself too with her show (and the headline-grabbing aftermath) of "Jon and Kate Plus 8."  The real surprise is Lohan, but TMZ reports that Oprah met the movie star several years ago (right after MEAN GIRLS) and the two hit it off. "Oprah really likes her," said a confidential source, "And thinks Lindsay has real potential.  All the problems she's had have been because of the Hollywood machine, and Oprah thinks with the right guidance Lindsay could be fantastic."  The shows are scheduled to tape in late July and to air in August. 

Rumor #1

Fresh off the sad news of Gary Coleman's passing this week (due to complications from a stroke) comes word that Emmanuel Lewis (known to most as the lovable "Webster") was bitten by a shark off the coast of Pensacola, Fla. on Saturday. Hospital and Police officials were not identifying the name of the person rushed to Baptist Hospital late Saturday night other than to say it is an adult male in his late 30s or early 40s, but numerous reports indicate it is indeed Lewis. 

Gwyneth & Goop - Who ya got?

Gwyneth Paltrow has this site called Goop (http://www.goop.com/), sort of a minimalist celebration of living well. Kaida and I were talking about it last year; she loved it, I was less impressed.

Anyway, the other day I saw this hilarious "spoof" of one of Gwyneth's cooking videos. I thought I would present both, just to be fair. The first is Gwyneth making some chicken for dinner. The second....well, see for yourself.


GWYNETH COOKS DINNER FOR THE FAMILY






GWYNETH COOKS DINNER FOR THE FAMILY (PLAYED BY ABBY ELLIOTT)

Gwyneth Paltrow Makes Chicken Goop.com with Abby Elliott from Abby Elliott

P.O.D. - Britney Spears

This was Britney's Picture of the Day on her website, so I figured it should be mine, too.




No matter how you feel about her, you have to admit it's a pretty damn good picture.

Emma Thompson to the rescue

You know, my friends, there was a time (and I call this time "1993) when I was in love with Emma Thompson. No longer does the flame of passion burn through my soul, but I am still quite fond of her.

This clip, from the Cesars (France's version of The Oscars), shows why. (You only need to watch about the first 1:45 or so.)

Césars 2009 : 34° Cérémonie / Julie Ferrier
Uploaded by websilone

There is one more piece of information to this story but I will put that in the comments so as to not spoil the surprise.

P.O.D - Britney and the Kids

I......I don't even have sharp parody at the ready. You all are going to have to help me out.

Lisa Bonet's new baby

Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa just had a new baby.

They named him Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa.

I don't know whether to call in Child Services or ask to be adopted.

P.O.D. - Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston is on the January cover of GQ.






I seem to recall she was on the cover of GQ once before.



If Brad and Angelina have any more kids, Jen might make it to Playboy yet.

Pure Evil?

What do all of these famous people have in common?

The Great Buddha
The Roman Emperors Tiberius and Claudius
Banquet guests of the Emperor Nero
Alexander I of Russia
Pope Clement II
King Charles V of France.


{Answer in the Comments}

Daily Lynx - Election Day Distractions

My Friends, do you need some totally awesome lynx to distract you from the never-ending political coverage today? Do you need the Lynx to "clean up" politics (and thus justify my racy picture above?) Do we dare?

Yes we can!

(There: that got both candidates a plug, without showing favoritism.)

These Lynx will blow you away with the awesome, so be careful.


1. From the World of Eastern Cinema, we have 50 Stunning Asian Movie Posters. Most of these far and away crush the American ones, and they convince me we need to demand more in a movie poster! I stole one, just to give you an idea:



Just judging the posters (and not the movies), my favorite one was for WHISPERING CORRIDORS 4, although you have to love the pterodactyl in LEGENDS OF DINOSAURS AND MONSTER BIRDS. What's your favorite?



2. Here is something kind of cool, or maybe completely creepy: the NOTABLE NAMES DATABASE. They are aiming to track every notable person in the world. Now, before you shout "Big Brother!" you should there: there is far less here than on a Wikipedia page. Mostly just the Who's Who outline. But here's the cool part: the site has a "Mapper" that lets you track how famous people are connected, sort of a Kevin Bacon thing. I went from Barbara Walters to Joseph McCarthy in two steps!



3. In honor of the spectacular Simpsons Halloween special Sunday (which you can watch now at imdb.com), I present What Charlie Brown characters would look like as Anime. I will snag one to give you a peek:



Good grief, huh!




4. Here is one for your wordnerds: The Un-Dictionary. You can submit words that SHOULD BE words. This is something Hyperion has been way ahead of for years. Maybe I will submit all mine. Either that or start my own Hyperictionary. (By the way: my link takes you directly to "Sapiosexuality;" definitely a passion of mine.)


5. For my Sexy Feminist Bitches, I found a slide show of How Successful Women Dressed Through the Decades. It's pretty amazing. I snagged the 1920s to get you started:



How cool was that? My favorite is the '50s, if only because the bras are so fantastic. What's yours?


[By the way: Hyperion is an ACTUAL FEMINIST, not a FRAUD FEMINIST, which means he believes most women are way tougher than they've been portrayed by the EVIL FRAUDULENT SELF-APPOINTED SELF-RIGHTEOUS leaders of the Women's Movement, which means he knows actual it's actually a sign of respect to jokingly call women bitches the same way he might call his male friends bastards, and he knows the word itself does not set back the cause of women in the slightest, but the overreaction and PC culture some would create surely does. And now I'll get off the soapbox.]



6. Just in case you need a little bit of politics, check out this great side-by-side look at the Electoral Map all the way back to George Washington. I spent an hour pouring over this thing, and I knew most of it! Great stuff.




7. I give you this link, of Hispanics Breaking for McCain, only because a friend of mine did it. He was just trying to get a rise out of people on Digg, but it serves as a great lesson to us all: what we read on the net, what we hear "reported" on the news isn't necessarily true. Beware stats my friends. Beware.



8. Finally, if you're tired of politicians who just don't deserve your trust, I urge you to fall in love with Hazel McCallion, the non-partisan mayor of Mississauga, Ontario.


Read her Wikipedia page: Hazel is an amazing woman. In 2005 Hazel came in second in the World Mayor Award to Dora Bakoyannis of Athens, Greece. I'm sure Dora is the Cat's Pajamas and all that, but I smell a French judge somewhere screwing over the Canucks again. In a time when partisanship makes everyone into enemies, Hazel has been a popular mayor for 30 years, and usually runs unopposed. She gets stuff for her city that the gigantic Toronto can only dream of, because she rocks. Nice to have someone to believe in, even if they are igloo dwellers.

Paris Hilton for President

Fair is fair......

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

I'll see you in the Comments, bitches.

Ashley Alexandra Dupre

Not to be left off the Ashley Alexandra Dupre bandwagon,

Here is her Myspace page, with the full version of "What we Want." After listening several times, it's surprisingly not bad. If you heard it on the radio you wouldn't think anything of it. I'm not saying Beyonce is put on notice, but for the generic R/B - Pop song, it's decent.

Then there's her "official" page, where you can buy both of her songs. Word is, she's going to be a millionaire soon, with the downloads and offers from the "gentleman's magazine" industry.

Now, I'm sure everyone has strong opinions on Spitzer, and we can get into it if you want, but just from a "Only in America" point of view, you have to love the fact that she moved quickly enough to be in position to profit from this.

Gotta love this country.

Lindsay Lohan IS Marily Monroe

I'm sure you have heard by now that Lindsay Lohan did a photo shoot with all the same poses/costumes as the infamous one from Ms. Marilyn Monroe, about six weeks before the star died. (One hopes that's not an omen.)

The above photo is the only one I can safely post here, as many of the more female Monkeys turn into screaming banshees when even moderately beatiful pulchritude is posted. (I toyed with the idea of claiming it was pop culture and art, but clever reasoning, much like math skills, NEVER impresses girls.)

ANYWAY, feel free to read the article yourself, thinly disguised as New York Magazine's attempt at fashion. When you go to the site (perfectly work safe), you can click on the little "slideshow" button on the picture above, and see all of the pictures. These pictures are decidedly NOT WORK SAFE, so use discretion.

I'm actually shocked how much was revealed. Maybe I'm naive, but New York magazine, in the name of fashion goes much further than Maxim or FHM ever does. (At least in America.) Moreover, these pictures are ostensibly aimed at women!

So, let me ask you, ladies, (since I know you want to see Lindsay, if only to judge her), is this common in a high-fallutin' fashion spread?

As for Miss Lohan herself, she looks fine, if waaaaaaaaaay too skinny. I'm not trying to judge the woman, but if you're going to take off your clothes, you sort of invite that. Also: can one woman have 10,000 freckles? Who knew?

Personally, I found the pictures where the nudity was hiding more alluring than the full-on titty shots. Hiding through sheer diaphanous cloth to be sure, but hiding nonetheless. It's hard to believe she lost that much weight (she's no longer Skeletor, but still very skinny), and yet her breasts are back to whatever robust size that is. (I'm no expert. I can never tell a woman's breast size by looking at her. I can, however, tell her age if she sits on my lap.)

As for comparisons to Marilyn, please. True, the Blonde Bombshell was known more for her looks than her acting, but she actually was a great actor, or at least turned in several great perfoamances. (SOME LIKE IT HOT, SEVEN YEAR ITCH, BUS STOP just to name a few.) My understanding is that Lohan is very appealing in PARENT TRAP and MEAN GIRLS, and it's been all downhill since.

Still, at least the magazine article got us talking. About fashion. I think I'll run out and get me some of them cloth-y things. Never know when they may come in handy.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?