Betty Crocker Cookies - Chocolate Mint Pinwheels

Someone please make and send me these Chocolate Mint Pinwheel cookies from Betty Crocker.
Pleeeeeeeaze?


While you're at it, I wouldn't mind these Mint Chocolate Chip cookies either.

Herman Cain sings Beatles montage about Pizza

[The following has nothing to do with politics in a traditional sense, either mine, yours or Mr. Cain's. It's more about how people make the major decisions in their lives.]

Herman Cain is a great story, but we all know he will not get the nomination, let alone the presidency. He will never fit the mold of expected conventionality the way a Perry or Romney or even Obama does.


It's too bad that someone with once-in-a-generation bravery and imagination isn't working for Cain, because this video below - back when Cain worked for the pizza industry, is goofy, inoffensive, and funny, but more than that, holds the one small sliver of out-of-the-box thinking that might get Cain to "stick" in people's minds the way that is necessary to get elected in the new world.


I am telling you with 100% sincerity that Herman Cain should start singing at all his campaign appearances. It would defy everything we know. It would make him a laughingstock, a source of constant late-night derision, angst and troubling echoes to a sordid racially charged past for American Entertainment and politics.


And it just might make Herman Cain the next president.


I know, you don't agree with me. I barely agree with me, and I'm a genius.  It's almost impossible to wrap your head around it. It's so counter-intuitive.


People, the president is not your Mommy. He's not your Daddy, though that's what people seem to think, what they hope for. The president has never had the control over the Economy that people think. Read the Constitution: it's not even in his job description.


If the past 20 years have taught us nothing else - and they haven't - it's that the president cannot solve your problems, no matter how much you want him to. At some point people will grasp this on an unconscious level, even if they do not agree.


So what does that leave?


In the modern world, people need their president to give them something else, something different, not forced down their throats on the advice of marketing experts, but a part of who they are, a part that sticks out, gives people something else to think about. This is why the myriad low-grade controversies that followed Clinton actually helped him, they made him memorable and interesting. People don't want to consider the idea that they pick their president in the same way that they pick what to watch on Thursday Night TV, but they do.


Whatever politics and priorities a candidate says he has change once he becomes president, and is forced to deal with the reality, not the theory of his lofty goals. Whatever is left gets compromised - sometimes out of recognition, with his opponents, with the changing needs of the country and public zeitgeist, and that which does get put into Law never acts according to how it was drawn up.


In other words, the practical, real-world relationship a person has with their president is by far most influenced by the quality of the four-year reality show that the modern presidency is. The jokes. The family. The controversies. The scandals. The Fashion. The president's hobbies, his hopes, his tone of voice. How he ages in front of us, how he handles the big moments, how he handles disappointment, how he is able to surprise us, stir us, and simply stay on our minds.


Herman Cain could be that man. He won't do it and who could blame him? He wants what every candidate wants, to be taken seriously. No one running for president, particularly an African American, wants to be seen as a sideshow, Tonight's Entertainment.


But ironically, whether they admit it or not, that's what people are looking for. Imagine that.








Lyrics to Herman Cain's Pizza Beatles montage:


Imagine there's no pizza
I couldn't if I tried
Eating only tacos
Or Kentucky Fried
Imagine only burgers
It's frightening and sad


You're lucky you have pizza
To feed for kids for you
Only frosting or cookies
And no dishes you must do
Imagine eating pizza
Each and every day


You may say that it's junk food
But to me it's so much more
It gives my life its meaning
And it makes a lot of dough


Imagine mozzarella
Anchovies on the side
And maybe, pepperoni
Rounds out your pizza pie
Imagine getting pizza
Delivered to your door


You don't have to give up now
On my skateboard I will go
I'll be back in 30 minutes
I just bought Dominoes


All I am saying
Is give pizza a chance
All I am saying
Give pizza a chance!
All I am saying
Is give pizza a chance
All I am saying
You've got to, got to give pizza a chance!

P.O.D. - For their Own good

Hail to the V

This looks like a pretty sweet movie. I plan to be at the opening.....

Greatest Movie Insults

The first group is better than the second, which makes sense because he hit more of the iconic stuff first time up. There were a few I didn't know, but I got most of 'em.

Trailer for 3 Musketeers

Or as I like to call it, Pirates of the Musketeerian

Ragnar Bjarnason - Smells like...WTF?

Ever wondered what Nirvana would sound like with a Finnish Band, Icelandic lounge-singer doing his best Latin-Acid Jazz? Get yer fill

P.O.D. - Family Haircut

Transformers 3 Trailer

Maybe this will erase the sting of part 2.

Real Steel

Hard to believe they couldn't call this Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots.  This could be unbelievably huge if it's well-made.






It's like TRANSFORMERS meets ROCKY

Skull Throne

A new chair for your office.

Admittedly it doesn't have great back support, but you should get a lot more respect from co-workers.

Post Valentine's Comix

Is it boobies?  I'm guessing it's boobies.






I would totally do this.






Pimps and kids got it hard out there.

Valentine Thong

I'm not generally in favor of thongs, but on this special day I can be open-minded.

Valentine's Statues

Ah, Valentine's Day....where even the statues are gettin' it on....