Monkey Barn Men suck (literally)

Most of you know my circumstances and that I have not been on the computer at all lately. Because of this, I have been hesitant to kick some ass for the Monkey Barn freeloaders who aren't pulling their weight. This will soon change. Just because I'm no longer in Canada doesn't mean I can't get one of my hos to come beat you with a shovel, Ajax.

Perhaps the worst offenders are Bear and Koz, which is sad, considering they are my best friends. Bear at least has an excuse with all the sex he's having lately, but Koz is married, so I know that can't be it.

Actually, Koz says he can't post from his new job. Fair enough (like somehow Ebola will escape from the CDC if Koz leaves a Monkey Barn post), but what about at home? He's there every night, and between all the sex he's not having you'd think Koz could post at least a few times.

What makes it even more galling is that Koz sends me all these funny forwards. Dozens of them, some of them very appropriate for the Monkey Barn Madness. I implore him to post on here, but so far no luck.

Help me out and leave nasty comments for Koz (and if so desired, for Ajax and Bear) in the comments. I would call them pussies, but as you know, I feel very strongly that "pussy" should not be a put down, but a tremendous compliment. (I personally can think of nothing better). So, call them something really insulting like Full House fans or Nazis, and let's see if we can get these bums posting.

to entice you, I will copy one of Koz's email forwards here:


"True Friendship" (With none of that Sissy Crap!!!!) Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- just the stone cold truth of our friendship.

1 When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask? Because you are my friend .

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth. Send this to "all 10" of your friends, then get depressed because you can only think of four!!! (don't send it back to me....I don't want to hear it!!!) And remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over !!!! !

by the way, Koz left that ending in because he knows I hate "FORWARD" commands. Bastard.