Hyperion is Starting a Biker Gang

I have decided to start a biker gang. (Technically, a Motorcycle Club, or MC.)

The reasons for this will become clear in a few days, but for now, my as-yet-unformed biker gang needs a name. Any suggestions are welcome, but if you insist on being a smart-ass, remember: once I have my gang, we can literally ride to where you live and kick your ass.

I'm still weighing the options of coed inclusion (traditionally MCs don't allow women to get "patched;" become full members), but if the women can't actually join, they can always be biker bitches, or possibly find fulfillment like these ladies. (NSFW)

Thanks for all your help. In the days to come I will have more information in case you want to be considered for membership in the___________. (Whatever the biker gang is called.)

Papa H

My new book

"To keep and Idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence.

To keep and idiot entertained for hours, read the previous sentence."

Fresh Meat

I've decided: Monkey Barn needs some new blood. I'm not kicking anyone to the curb, but some fresh faces might liven things up a bit.

If you know anyone who'd be good, or if you are someone who'd be good, drop me a line, eh?

P.O.D. - Hyperion Day style

For the Hyperion Day P.O.D., I knew I needed to find something really special. This I have done. I present a (rather pessimistic) view of humanity. This is why I must take over, and soon.

(You MUST click on to see the whole thing in detail)

Cannes I be awesome like Cate?

Might I suggest that Dragon also review the fashion at Cannes? From what I've seen, looks good!
As one example, for the Barn Overlord's pleasure, I present...Cate Blanchett.




:) LJS

Put to the Question

Lovers o' the Barn:

I started a new site yesterday called PUT TO THE QUESTION.

You know how I sometimes ask questions here? I enjoy that so much that I wanted an entire site filled with just that. I'm really hoping to get many different responses, get a dialog going. Anyway, yesterday's launch was less than overwhelming, and since many of you (for some inexplicable reason) don't go to the home page, I thought I would tell you about it here.

My very first Question is up: it deals with living for 400 years. Go see, and more importantly, answer! Thanks much.

400 Years

Dear Monkeys

A Note to Monkey Barn Readers,


Dear Chowderheads,

You have have noticed that I (that is to say Hyperion, your Barn Overlord) have been posting quite a bit since Monkey Barn came back online. You have have also noticed that most of the posts are not that personal in nature. I started a Daily Lynx section, as well as a Picture of the Day (P.O.D.), and some occasional Vs. segments, and other jokes/hilarity.

You might find this strange, since I have repeatedly said I wanted Monkey Barn to be more personal.

My reasoning is:

I have another site called "Institutionalized" (http://hyperionjournal.blogspot.com) that basically serves as my blog/journal (or what I like to call my blournal). It is there that I write down all my hopes and dreams and thoughts throughout the week. I used to put that stuff on Monkey Barn, before there were the other Monkeys. I don't put it on my home page (The Hyperion Institute), because that is for the actual writing, whatever it is I have written for that day.

So, what does this have to do with Monkey Barn?

Well, I am totally on board with Monkey Barn being more of a personal site, with less material "found" from other places, and more of what we thought/think about issues. However, as I wrote above, since I already have my own site to do that, Monkey Barn is supposed to be for the other Monkeys to do that.

As of right now they are sort of shy. I invited them back quite several weeks ago, but until they are back to posting they way they used to, I'm trying to fill the void.

Hopefully in the future the Monkeys will begin posting more, and I will be posting less. (Also, we will have group projects, which I hope you will enjoy.)

Oh, one other thing: Monkey Barn is open to anyone. If you want to be a part, we would love to consider you for membership. We have cool tee-shirts and everything. Just drop me an email and make your case.

So that's the deal. Until the Monkeys get going again, I hope you're enjoying the stuff I've been posting, and if you have suggestions, I'm all ears on that too.

Much love and jello,

Hyperion

Big Announcement

After more than a month away, I wanted to say this:








Ten points for the first one to figure it out.

Yes they did ask!

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!


Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A : We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.


Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.


Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.


Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.


Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them
in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?


Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big
country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Calgary. Come naked.


Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll
send the rest of the directions.


Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada?(England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.


Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it.
Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary,
straight after the hippo races. Come naked.


Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.


Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I
sell it in Canada?(USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.


Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population
is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.


Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.


Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.


Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a
kind of big horse with horns. (USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone
walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine
before you go out walking.


Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.