Sharktopus

Oh SyFy, how I love you!

Whatever you were planning for September 25th, cancel it.  You, me, and everybody are watching Sharktopus! It will be Mystery Science Theater 300,000!

Obvious as a hole in the head

If you didn't see this coming, and the obvious ramifications and subsequent "growth market"** it already has and will breed, then you just aren't very bright.





**My title was ironic. Very ironic. But "growth market" might be the most meta-ironic statement ever written by me. And that's saying something.

Holiday Myths Debunked

[sent in by Skittles]

Reuters – A man repacks sugar in packets on sale for 6.70 pesos ($0.36) on a table at a public market in Taguig …

Many supposed holiday hazards are as innocuous as a tepid mug of apple cider. A review article in the current issue of the British Medical Journal cites five fears that can officially be crossed off the holiday worry list.

Myth 1: Sugar makes kids hyperactive.

"There have been more studies on this than on many drugs," said article author Dr. Aaron Carroll of the Indiana University School of Medicine, "all of which show there is no link between sugar and hyperactivity." Even if the kids are "sugar sensitive" or have attention-deficit disorder, he continued, sweets do not change their behavior.

Parents may think their kids become more chaotic after candy and other treats but "it is in their heads," said primary author Dr. Rachel Vreeman, also of the Indiana University School of Medicine. She pointed to a study that told parents their kid was slurping a sugar-loaded beverage, when the drink instead was essentially water. The parents reported the child going bonkers when objective observers thought otherwise, she said.

Myth 2: Suicides increase over the holidays.

The weather is woeful, the relatives are rude and melancholy moods abound. "But contrary to what many of us think, suicides are actually more common, around the world, during times of year that are warmer and sunnier," Vreeman said. The article also cites a 35-year study conducted in the United States showing that holidays - including Christmas, the Fourth of July and birthdays - are not preferred times to take one's life.

Myth 3: Poinsettias are toxic.

Shooing the dog or child away from the perilous plant of holiday cheer? Let the hollering subside. The American Association of Poison Control Centers has a record of 22,793 cases of human poinsettia ingestion and zero resulted in significant poisoning. Ninety-six percent of the poinsettia-eaters didn't even need to see a doctor, Vreeman said. And rats that gobbled several hundred grams of the pureed flower, the equivalent of a human eating 500-600 poinsettia leaves, did just fine. Still, it's best to call the poison control center when any non-food plant is eaten, she said.

Myth 4: You lose most of your body heat through your head.

Your mother said it. Every hat salesman touts it. Even the U.S. Army Field Manual claims "40 to 45 percent of body heat" is lost through the head, the researchers write in this week's article, but it is simply not true. Body heat leaves from any skin surface in proportion to the area exposed, said Vreeman. As for people who claim a hat renders shorts acceptable in cold weather? "Those people are being very, very foolish," Carroll said. "There is nothing special about the head."

Myth 5: Eating at night makes you fat.

While eating late at night has been associated with obesity, midnight munching does not cause obesity. "You shouldn't be afraid to have that midnight snack anymore than a mid-day or mid-morning snack," Carroll said. The article, citing several studies, suggests that Santa's jolly belly is the result of too many calories overall, not just the holiday treats laid out for him in the evening.

Carroll and Vreeman's book "Don't Swallow Your Gum: Myths, Half-truths, and Outright Lies About Your Body and Health" will be published in 2009 by St. Martin Press.

P.O.D. - lolcat style

Got Milk?

Half the fucking world starving, and what do our food scientists spend their time on?

Making sure you ridiculous white people don't ever accidentally buy less than fresh milk.


Sheesh.

Does-Nothing-O-Matic

If for no other reason than you are stressed, and need a three minute seventeen second break in your life, I present the Does-Nothing-O-Matic.





How cool is that?

Science vs. Math (who ya Got?)

[I can't see more than three of you getting this joke, but I think it's funny, and that's good enough for me.....]


A mathematician and a physicist agree to a psychological experiment.

The (hungry) mathematician is put in a chair in a large empty room and his favorite meal, perfectly prepared, is placed at the other end of the room. The psychologist explains, "You are to remain in your chair. Every minute, I will move your chair to a position halfway between its current location and the meal."

The mathematician looks at the psychologist in disgust. "What? I'm not going to go through this. You know I'll never reach the food!" And he gets up and storms out.

The psychologist ushers the physicist in. He explains the situation, and the physicist's eyes light up and he starts drooling.

The psychologist is a bit confused. "Don't you realize that you'll never reach the food?"

The physicist smiles and replies: "Of course! But I'll get close enough for all practical purposes!"

The Way Engineers Think

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!

Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him.

Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?

George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge!

(silence)

Priest: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.

Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?