Since Hyperion has neglected to tell you who won the Monkey Barn Derby, I fill you in. I won!!
That's right; my lovely, horse "Dragon's Kiss" won the derby easily. It wasn't much of a competition (did you see the other horses). In fact my horse was the only one who got out of the gate. It was a pitiful showing by the other horses. Pitiful!
Tobias's entry HUNG LIKE A RIVER MIDGET was too busy making sweet River Midget love to Lady Jane Scarlett's sexy sleek stallion LADY GODIVA'S SCARLETT REIGN. Who can blame him. Have you seen the ass on LJS's horse?
Sea Hag's horse, GRAVY TRAIN, sadly died on her way to the gate. Seems she can't survive out of the water. She was flushed, um, I mean given a proper burial after the race.
Koz's horse, SIR-BARTON GALLANT-FOX OMAHA WAR-ADMIRAL WHIRLAWAY COUNT-FLEET ASSAULT CITATION SECRETARIAT SEATTLE-SLEW AFFIRMED III, was the only one I thought would give my horse a run for her money. So you can imagine my surprise when he didn't show up for the race. When I went looking for him after the race, I found him in his stable hanging from the rafters. His suicide letter (pinned to his ear) said that he was distraught over the fact his love for LADY GODIVA'S SCARLETT REIGN was rejected.
So there you have it folks. DRAGON'S KISS is the undisputed winner of the Monkey Barn Derby. Yay me!!