After the televised debate, John McCain and Barack Obama ran into each other backstage.
"You know, John," said Obama, "out there in the debates you and I are damaging each other's reputation. Why don't we settle this contest like men? You and I will have our own private competition, and then whoever loses will endorse the other candidate."
"What type of competition do you have in mind?" asked McCain.
"A game of basketball," said Obama.
"No way," said McCain with a grin. "You're a foot taller than me -- it wouldn't be fair."
"O.K.," said Obama. "Then how about a foot race?"
"No, that's not fair either," said McCain. "I'm twenty years older than you, and I don't have much endurance left."
"Well what would you propose?" asked Obama.
"How about a speed-talking contest?" said McCain. "We'll both be given a speech, and whoever reads it fastest wins."
"No, that's not fair to me," said Obama. "I can only talk out of one side of my mouth."