Sunday, December 17, 2006

Uh uh...Yeah. Yeah Yeah!


One of my personalities, Smoove LJS, has finally surfaced and she makes her debut simultaneously here on the Barn and in my Den. I tell ya, this lascivious lady is one hot-to-trot momma. She loves herself some Elvis too.

I hereby present to the Barn...Smoove Lady Jane Scarlett
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Ya know, back in The Day, Elvis was pretty hot. Meow! Smoove LJS has been unleashed, Lady Jane has been kinda boooooring lately-whining about this and yelling about that. Taking a cue from (most of) the titles from Elvis's 30 #1 hits, Smoove LJS has written a love letter to her (fictional) lover who has (for-pretend) left her. Because we all know that nobody (NOBODY) in their right mind would leave Smoove LJS.










My darling, are you lonesome tonight? If so, then surrender to my call. It's now or never, I can never hear your voice too much. Don't be cruel, my dear. Don't. Since I've met you, that one night, I've been your teddy bear. What else can I say? I'm stuck on you-your keychain is my favorite good luck charm. I still can't help falling in love with you, and I often think of the wonder of you. My heart and soul is on fire-for only you, I am a big hunk of love.
My friends have told me that you have moved on-they say "his latest flame (Marie's the name) is very sweet". And I am all shook up over the news my love because I know that she's not you. With one word you sent me to Heartbreak Hotel, and discarded me like an old hound dog. Deep, way down, I know that you are the devil in disguise but you reach my wooden heart like nobody else can. Come back to me, babe, and I will treat you right. Let Smoove LJS ease our suspicious minds, I will prepare you a feast of chicken wings and potato skins just how you like it. A fool such as I may be known as a hard headed woman, but I will acquiesce your every whim. I know that you love me tender, but my whole being desires your burning love, together we can do the jailhouse rock all night long.
Well, my darling, I guess that I should close this letter. I know that you always like a little less conversation-preferring to speak the language of love in kisses and caresses. Please don't write "return to sender" on this letter, I am waiting for you to knock on my door. I am a crazy fool-crazy in love for you.

Your Smoove LJS

1 comment:

tiff said...

Smoove LJS - you rock.