I was shopping a few days ago for presents and I was blessed to be able to witness this particular spectacle at the jewelery counter in Nordstrom's:

Dude: I need to buy my wife some jewelery.
Sales Lady: What kind of jewelery were you looking to get for her, sir?
Dude: I don't know.
Sales Lady: A ring? A necklace? Do you think she might want a bracelet or some earrings?
Dude: Hell, I don't know.
Sales Lady: Well, what kind of jewelery does she normally wear?
Dude: She's got a lot of stuff. How much is that over there? (points at something in the display case which, unfortunately, I didn't get to see).
Sales Lady: That's $730.
Dude: I'll just get that.

Now, first of all I have to hand it to the sales lady for not just telling the guy to go shopping for a damn clue first before dropping that kind of cash on a present. I wanted to go make her a pie because I'm sure this wasn't the first guy to do that to her today.

So, my sexy readers, who can tell me what was wrong with this scene? The guy was buying jewelery for his wife, and he was buying jewelery for his wife at Nordstrom's, so from first glance he seems to be doing a pretty good job, right?

Today's lesson: E is for Effort

I am going to give all you men the best Christmas present you'll ever receive right now: The key to understanding women. You ready? Here it is: We love effort above everything else.

I'll give you a second to let that one settle in.

By now, you're probably realizing that there is definitely a nugget of truth to what I just told you. Think of all the times you made a total ass of yourself trying to impress a lady and how she just loved it. Think of all the times you just randomly bought something for a girl just for the sake of getting her a present and how polite she was about it. Now do you know what I'm talking about?

Women want to know that you are able to think about something other than yourself. That's why we love effort, and by the way, that's why getting an engagement ring is such a BFD, because it's the ultimate in effort.

So, please, even though jewelery (even Nordstrom's jewelery) is a nice idea for Christmas, make sure it'll be something she actually wants. I'd personally rather have something that says I know you and I know what you like like the first season of 'The Girls Next Door' or 'The Office' on DVD rather than one of those trendy diamond circle pendants that's unfortunately all the rage right now.

Also, for the love of everything good and holy, please wrap your presents and never, ever throw out any Christmas cards your lady gives you. Just trust me on that one.