Saturday, December 02, 2006

Love Is A Battlefield! Part 14

For your reading pleasure, Monkey Barn is now proud to once again present Ask-a-Hag, in which confused readers (who are possible high on airplane glue) query the delectable Sea Hag and ask for her sage-like advise in the categories of love and lust. Mostly lust.

Today's Lesson: Waiting by the phone

Dear Sea Hag,

I went out on a date with a guy a few weeks ago, and it went really well. I had a great time and I think he did too. He said he'd call me the next day, but I haven't heard back from him since then! I tried calling him twice but he didn't return my call. Why won't guys ever call when they say they will? Why did he say he'd call when obviously he knew he wasn't going to?

Waiting by the phone

Dear Waiting,

First of all...Never. Wait. By. The. Phone. EVER. Also, I'm going to assume you really did just call a few times and didn't get all 'Fatal Attraction' on him.

If I really knew why guys (and some girls) don't call when they say they will I'd be the lord of all creation, and all would obey me or fear my terrible wrath. Unfortunately, I'm not the supreme ruler of the world (yet) and I don't know the answer to this question. I don't think anyone does for sure, honestly. I have a few guesses, though, and it all boils down to one thing: he didn't want to.

Yes, you could sit there and really rationalize this and come up with some good excuses (he was just being polite, he got sick, he was abducted by aliens, he was just looking for a piece of ass, blah blah) but really, it's all just different shades of he didn't care. We live in an age of instant access, so even if he was swamped with work or sick or whatever, it would have taken about 12 seconds for him to call you up and simply say 'Hey, I'm really busy with work so I won't be able to call you for a while, but when I get through this I will." If I know anything, it's that when a guy wants something he'll go out of his way to obtain it. So, sucks to be you.

Love,
Sea Hag

9 comments:

tiff said...

You are SO right. Life would be easier if honestly really WAS the best policy.

Lady Jane Scarlett said...

I agree with Tiff. I propose a new idea: "What would James Bond do?"

Sea Hag said...

James Bond would hit my g-spot and call me the next day.

Lady Jane Scarlett said...

I'm sure that he would Sea Hag!

lost goddess said...

where the fuck do all my comments on this man keep going???? FIrst I left a whipping ME-OW!! thne I left a smippy " Take that tone with me" but everytime I come back no comment WTF?

Lady Jane Scarlett said...

er, maybe because you're leaving it with Sea Hag's post?! :D

lost goddess said...

OIC *sigh* Still lost one there!!! puto

Sea Hag said...

I'm confused.

lost goddess said...

isn't it fun?