Blonde Jokes

A few blonde jokes to start your weekend right (from dribbleglass.com)

DEODORANT
A blonde goes into a pharmacy and tells the clerk, "I need some deodorant for my husband." "The ball kind?" inquired the clerk. "No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."

BIRDIE
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Aw, look at the dead birdie." The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"

LOCKED DOOR
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. The first said "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!" The second replied, "Well, you'd better hurry up, its starting to rain and the top is down!"

HEAD AND SHOULDERS
A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head and Shoulders" and the problem had cleared. The blonde asked inquisitively, "How do you give shoulders?"

THE FIELD
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said, "You know, it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!" To this the other blonde replied, "I know, and if I knew how to swim I'd go out there and drown her."

SWIMMING THE ENGLISH CHANNEL
There was a competition to cross the English Channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher. Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."

TRACKS
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing and half-an-hour later they were both killed by a train.

Tobias Out