I don't care who you are, or how much you groan, you WILL use this joke within 48 hours. You know you will......
A highway walks into a bar one day. He goes up to the bartender and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac.
The highway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won't see him. The bartender looks down at him and says, "What's the matter with you? Why are you hiding? You've got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a piece of tarmac?
The highway replies, "You don't know him like I do. He's a cyclepath."