The Celery Stalks at Midnight Part 4

Joel's final scream had pierced through the surface tension of the"water" above him, causing a deluge of liquid oxygen to rush into the between-world where the awful jellycreature had lived. Joel been carried through the rent, and now his body floated to the surface on a thick wave, a fresh smudge on the turbulent surface of an odd dreamworld.

Slowly Joel's body absorbed the liquid in his lungs, and it refreshed him. He was bouyant on the waves, and as his eyes began to open he noticed that the jelly creature had been crushed under the density of the inrushing liquid, and now its strange multicolored body lay in a gleaming puddle under the waves. Its deflated gawping head oozed along on the surface, and a final weary twich of a crumpled tentacle signalled its demise. The ghostly fiend that had taken him from his world and led him to the Master was nowhere to be seen.

In the near distance Joel saw a luridly colored island, and began to swim toward it, hopeful for rescue. As he neared the shore, vibrant creatures jumped around, waving at him wildly and shouting in glee. Once very near, and almost fully exhausted, Joel grabbed at the ribbons they tossed to him and allowed them to drag him to shore.

After a period of some time, Joel awoke to find himself surrounded by a pack of young boys just about his age. A cat-faced fellow with a bright red hat shrieked "he up, he up!" and the parrot, pirate, and clown yelled loudly "he UP he UP!" and danced wildly in their hyperoxygenated world. Joel breathed deeply, the smell of sugar and chocolate filled the air, a cloying-sweet atmosphere of carnival and circus.

"Have some candy, have some CANDY" all the boys shouted, bouncing off of walls and ramming into one another without regard to safety or one another. And so Joel ate. And ate. And ate. And eventually began bouncing off of walls and ramming into other boys, screaming wildly, fueled with sugar and the vivid energy of this extra-oxygenated world. They ran until they were utterly spent.

When he slept, it was to allow in twisting dreams of crazy colors and racing pace. When he awakened, it was to a pounding head and sticky mouth. When he stretched, his bones popped; when he peed, it smelled like cotton candy. He felt sick.

And still the boys stuffed him with sweets. Still they plyed him with sodas. Still they made him run and jump and shout and exhaust himself, for that was the only way he could meet "The Mistress," the one who held the power to decide his fate on this fantasy island. She liked her acolytes energetic and stuffed with glucose. So eat, Joel, and run. Play with us and stuff your face, for The Mistress, for The Mistress wants it that way.

After many days spent in a daze of sweets and screaming and sleep and sick stomach, the pirate said Joel was ready to meet The Mistress. Joel had killed the Master, after all, and in so doing had given her Ultimate Power over the Know-World, and she would grant him one wish.

Joel thought long and hard on this wish, finally settling on one that, just a few days ago, he would have thought strange, but now, in his candy-addled and wrung-out mind, seemed perfectly sane.

He was tired of candy.

He was tired of fun.

He wanted to see familiar stars and eat an apple, for Pete's sake, to settle his head and stomach. He wanted his bed.

In short, he wanted to go home.

The boys led him to the center of the island, to an enormous castle of sugar-glass and marshmallows, in which The Mistress lived. A smart rap on the graham cracker door announced their presence, and soon Joel was led into a vast hall in the middle of which was seated a gigantic women in a tight white outfit.

For a moment Joel felt an odd sensation in the pit of his stomach, and thought that maybe he didn't want to leave after all. She was beautiful, even if she was 30 feet tall and had breasts the size of a school bus. Joel, being a boy, wondered if it would be better perhaps to change his wish to be 31 feet tall and all grown up. However, once her threatningly resonant voice demanded his wish, he reverted to the small boy he was and squeaked out: "I want to go home."

"SIMPLE AS PIE" bellowed the tremedous Mistress. "EASIER THAN TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY!!!"

Joel's stomach lurched.

"IT WOULD BE THE ICING ON THE CAKE OF MY DAY TO SEND YOU HOME, MASTER-SLAYER!!!"

Joel felt ready to heave.

"ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS, EAT THIS!" and at that she held out her enrmous gloved hand, which held a gigantic candy heart with the words "eat me" printed in white icing on it.

Joel gulped hard, his gorge rose, the saliva flowed, he was one spasm of the gut away from a full-on heave. "Not more sugar!" Joel thought wildly. "I can't EAT anymore sugar! I can't DO this! Please, anything but this!"

But still, he opened his mouth, and began.