Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Love is a Battlefield! Part 10

And now, it's time for more Ask-A-Hag, in which the fabulous readers of 'Love is a Battlefield!' e-mail me their burning questions and I respond with cheeky comments and scathing insults about your poor use of grammar.

Today's Lesson: I want you to want me

Dear Sea Hag,
OK here's my issue. I have been in love with a guy friend of mine for a long time. I am pretty sure he is my soul mate, and have told him how I feel, but he tells me he is not emotionally ready for a relationship. I don't know if I should hang on to him and hope that it'll work out one day, or if I should try to move on and forget about him. Please help!

Waiting and Hopeful

Dear WaH,
I will (briefly) set aside my usual smart-assery to express my condolences to you, because is there anything else in the world more heartbreaking than unrequited love? We've all been there, and it sucks. I'm sorry.

OK, now I'm back aboard the Sarcasm Train, and the solution to your problem is simple: alcohol. Sweet, sweet alcohol.

Oh, you wanted an actual solution? Aren't you the demanding one.

Thing is, you already know what you have to do in this situation, and that's to try to move on. I personally don't believe in the whole 'soul mate' thing, for starters, so you might want to rethink that mentality. I know you think that this guy is the be-all and end-all, but I guarantee that there are several dudes out there who not only would make you feel all tingly, but would actually want to be all up in your situation and not string you along with that old 'I'm not ready for a relationship' crap. Now, before you get your panties in a wad and get all defensive, it could very well be one of those incredibly rare occasions where the guy really and truly is not ready to get involved with anyone romantically, like if he went through a nasty breakup or divorce, or just lost this job. But still, he has given you a glimmer of hope and that's tearing you up inside. And that's not fair.

Go have fun, date stupidly and get many free drinks and meals. Make sure you pack your 'ho bag, of course. Maybe eventually he'll get his head on straight and you guys will be happy together, or maybe you'll meet someone better. Until then, have a blast with Mr. Right Now and stop obsessing over Mr. Right.



Tracy Lynn said...

Dude, I think you should be required reading for all young women.

Lady Jane Scarlett said...

Awesome installment Sea Hag, we love you!

Hyperion said...

Maybe you don't believe in "soul mates," but what about "Blues Mates" or "R&B Mates" or something like that?

Sea Hag said...

Har. Har. It's a good thing I love you, Hyperion.