If you're looking for a reason to play hooky this week, here are a few:
- I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?
- My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.
- I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at Kroger.
- I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
- The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.
- If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all my guns today.
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