Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Why the Black Eyed Peas are Destroying Society

Easily the worst song of the year is The Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps." I cannot tell you how much I despise this song. In fact it's so bad, I feel you must hear it for yourself to know my pain.

What I want you to do is pull up the lyrics by clicking this underlined link right here and hopefully it opens in a new window or else I wasted three hours trying to learn how to do this

Then, if you click this link here a window should open up that allows you to hear what you're reading. (You'll find the song where it says, "Check it out." Also, in case this in an issue, I believe they say the word "ass" in the song.)

Hopefully you've done this by now and I can enumerate my extreme problems with this track.

#1 It's an incredibly infectuous beat/background. Seriously: if this were a decent song I would trumpted it as best of the year. I am not a fan of The Black Eyed Peas, so when I like something of theirs, that's news.

#2 The song crassly refers to women's body parts as both "humps" and "lumps." Now, I've never been accused of not being crass, but that's a bit much, don't you think?

#3 Most R&B songs reduce women to mere sex objects, and for some reason girls seem okay with this in the clubs. "My Humps" gives girls the power, but sets back feminism 50 years. I mean, guys buy girls things because of their butt and breasts? Okay, maybe that's true, but the way it's spelled out here is nothing to be proud of, ladies.

#4 This may be a minor point, but the song clearly indicates a relationship between white women who happen to have curves, and black men who are so excited by that prospect that they spend all their money on said women. Forget how ugly that premise is for a minute. My main problem: If there is a "black man's cryptonite," it sure as shooting ain't Fergie (the lead singer). Now, if Jessica Alba sang this...maybe, 'cause that girl's got a shelf on her.

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