GRANDMA GOES TO COURT

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they
aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his
first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He
approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded,
'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were
a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie,
you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice
is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on
his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I
know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very
quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me,
I'll send you both to the electric chair.'