Monday, March 03, 2008

Movie Trailers before THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL

I didn't have room in my review of THE OTHER BOYLEYN GIRL to include my thoughts on the trailers preceding the film, so I thought I would do so here, along with allowing you to see them for yourself:

1st Movie - SEX AND THE CITY

Comments - When this show was on I continually threatened to write a 15,000 word column on the most subversive show in history. Now that there is a movie I may have to. BTW, my sister Jerrica and I agreed that the trailer gives away every single important plot point. At this point I have to assume Hollywood is doing this for a reason, and chicks just want to have the movie explained to them before they see it. What's the dilly, ladies? Are you afraid to see a movie if you don't know there will be a happy ending?


Comments - I would actually promise to see this movie if someone could guarantee there would be a discussion of how the same pair of pants can fit a tall girl with no ass at the same time as a shorter girl with a more rococo posterior. I really would.

3rd Movie - 10,000 B.C.

Comments - Okay, I can buy that ten thousand years ago everyone spoke English, and that for some reason, everyone wanted to look like Tracy Chapman. And I like giant tigers as much--actually, way way way more than--the next guy. The problem I'm having is the architecture. The pyramids came 86 hundred years later and we still aren't entirely sure how they did it, but those buildings look like a cross between the Pentagon and the Bellagio. And though I admit the contemporary historical record is spotty at best, I find this all highly unlikely. Unlikely I say!


Comments - I firmly believe Amy Adams is the real deal, so I am willing to let her pay her dues, but I fully expect her to move on to meatier faire, and soon!

5th Movie - 21

Comments - This Blackjack scheme actually happen, though the Light only knows how much of the real story Hollywood will bother to get right. Still, even a mess of a script is likely to be an entertaining movie. I'm excited.

6th Movie - MADE OF HONOR

Comments - I have now moved from being neutral on Grey's Anatomy to officially hating it, because Patrick Dempsey should not be carrying films. Besides revealing 110% of the plot in the trailer (I even knew things that will only make the deleted scenes), I spent most of the time (as will you), saying, "Is that Liv Tyler? No really: is that Liv Tyler?" Watch the trailer and see if you can figure it out. (It's not, but it took you awhile, huh?) By the way, that token black friend was an official Dwayne Wayne sighting. I missed him!

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