The language of Love

You’re gonna have to follow me on this one.

I was reading this scholarly article at the Chiropractor’s office the other day when I ran across the data that X stood for kiss and O stood for hug in the famous xoxoxoxo.

This was confusing, because when you kiss someone, you make your mouth kind of round into an O, and when you hug them you cross your arms on their back. (Unless, of course, you’re not big like me or you’re dating Star Jones, in which case, you have much bigger problems; no pun intended.)

The cute little receptionist remonstrated me and said that no, X was indeed kiss and O was hug.

This STILL didn’t make sense because you always see that symbolized as xoxoxo and not the other way around and yet, you always HEAR it as “Hugs and Kisses,” never “Kisses and Hugs.”

You know I’m right.

So, since nobody wants to say “Kisses and Hugs” it seems to me the best thing to do is to write oxoxox.

Of course, when one looks at that, one can’t help but notice that ox is also an ox. Now, “x” is kind of a harsh sound and I can see a girl not wanting to be called that. But something softer and similar to ox should work, right?

Therefore, I submit that men should call all their women (whom they love) “buffalos.” To make matters clearer (in case you live in Cedar Rapids Iowa and deal with many different kids of buffalo), perhaps you should call your girl your little “Love Buffalo.”

Let me know how that goes.