Haunted Monkey Barn - Chapter 1

[Friends, I am so pleased you could join us! We begin our next Monkey Barn Campfire story, this time involving a certain wizard I think you all know and love. No, not Mr. Wizard; Harry Potter! Each day a different one of us will write out chapter, with only three rules:

1. No killing the main characters until the end
2. No cheesy "it was all a dream" sequences.
3. I can't actually type the third rule, but if you really must know, this quote from Cruel Intentions 2 gets the idea across

And that's it!

We hope this will be as fun for you to read as it is for us to write. Okay, let's get started!]

Harry Potter and the Haunted Monkey Barn.

Chapter 1

Harry Potter stepped off the Hogwarts express gingerly, stretching his legs with his House Gryffindor compatriots. Up and down the train, others were doing the same,

A Spring Break spent searching the moldy corners of the Haunted Monkey Barn might not be anyone's first choice, but when you consider the other two choices (Euro Disney and Paris Hilton's urinary tract), nobody was complaining.

Well, almost nobody.

"I don't see why we have to spend our time in some sodding barn!" Draco Malfoy said spiritedly. "My father booked an entire floor at the Mandalay in Vegas. Why couldn't we have gone there?"

Other students chimed in too, until Professor McGonagall swooped in, glaring at Draco. "Mr. Malfoy, that will be quite enough out of you!" Draco started protesting but professor McGonagall was having none of it, and dragged the yelping boy off.

"Of all the Minerve!" Pansy Parkinson said, preening as the others congratulated her on the fine pun. Fun was short-lived, however, as Professor Sprout and Professor Snape herded the students onto invisible John Deere tractors (visible only to those who had cut grass or stepped in cow pies) and on to the Haunted Monkey Barn.

According to their itinerary, the students were all supposed to meet in the Foyer. "How do we know we are in the foyer?" Ron asked.

Hermione pointed. "I think that's our clue."

Everyone just looked at her dumbly, and Hermione ground her teeth.

Once inside the Barn the students were met by a curator. The man was completely normal except for the fact that he wore no pants and spoke with a speech impediment.

And was a duck.

"If it were not for the speech impediment, the lack of trousers and the undeniable "fowl" appearance to him our guide would look quite normal indeed." Said Hermione Granger, grinning at her own pun. When no one offered praise as they had for Pansy Hermione grumbled under her breath, "Stupid Bitch. I wish her name was Pansy Chlamydia!" This gave Hermione an idea.

Meanwhile Ron and Harry were taking bets on what sort of punishment Professor McGonagall was giving out to Draco.

"I bet it's a spanking!" Dean Seamus said wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah, she could paddle him with that Quidditch broom he's so bloody proud of!" Lee Jordan chimed in.

Neville Longbottom had his own take: "I hope the professor takes that Malfoy by his Ж€£¥¥%¿µ and makes him ؤست£إ¶#&* her #^¢¤¤§® ¡جنص‡."

No one really had an answer for that.

The truth was soon to be revealed, as the students soon became tired of hearing the duck go on and on about "Whatever you do, beware the evil Lord Voldemonkey" and went off to explore. They came upon a door and heard cries from within. Wand at the ready, Harry pulled open the door and gaped with astonishment as he saw professor McGonagall and Draco Malfoy right dab in the middle of…..

Join us tomorrow for Chapter 2!