Haunted Monkey Barn - Chapter 4

[Continued from Chapter 3, we move on in our campfire story. I'm so excited I could hump a goat!]

HARRY POTTER AND THE HAUNTED MONKEY BARN

Chapter 4
(Schrodinger's Kitten)

"Who the bloody hell cares where Weasley is!" Draco sniveled, writing in the mud. "Somebody get me out of this!".

Nobody moved.

Because for at that very moment, a distant flare shot off into the sky. Purple and sparkly, it arched into the sky, bright in the murky grey ceiling above them. It then suddenly exploded into a picture, forming into a shape of...a monkey slinging poo.

Neville gasped. "It's...it's...."

Harry uttered the fatal words..."Voldemonkey".

Everyone turned to him in unison "He Who Must Not Be Smelled!" they screamed.

Harry apologized, and kicked the mud.

He looked at his compatriots that had surrounded him. His beloved Ron and Hermione were gone - Ron to who knows where, and Hermione off flying on a gigantic spotted monkey. Harry had a brief thought that Ron and Hermione seemed to disappear together an awful lot. They'd suddenly spout off an excuse of 'homework' or 'practice spells' and then would manage to slip away. He thought he heard the word 'anal sex' once as they scuttled off into the hallway. If he didn't know better, he'd think they were....nah, he laughed. Ridiculous.

With the symbol of Voldemonkey fading in the sky, the group re-assembled. Professor McGonagall herded Prefessor Trelwaney toward the students, everyone apprehensive.

"Students!" the Professor enunciated. "Let's not over-react. The symbol of 'He Who Shall Not Be Smelled' is not necessarily the sign of the evil itself. It may be only one of it's followers. We must stick together, and..."

Suddenly Professor Trelwaney convulsed, and her eyes rolled back into her head. She managed to stand, but the mouth hung slack, and a deep booming voice came from within...

"Lord Voldemonkey."

The crowd stirred in silence.

"Lord Voldemonkey. That funky monkey."

Harry cocked an eyebrow in confusion.

"We're offered Moet - we don't mind Chivas Wherever we go with bring the Voldemonkey with us..."

Trelwaney dwindled off. As everyone stood in silence.

"It means he's here!" Draco screamed like a girl. A real girl bitch-slapped him. He liked it. They began to make out.

Here? Harry thought. What would he do? His scar began to ache. He longed for Ron and Hermione more than ever. Maybe he could find them before it was too late?

Everyone turned to back to Professor McGonagall for guidance.

"We must take this prophecy as truth - 'He Who Shall Not be Smelled'...must be...must be...oh dear...he must be SMELLED!" She shuddered in fear at the thought.

The crowd screamed, but Harry sighed. 'Again?' he thought.

Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, a bright flash of light illuminated them all. When it faded, there stood Severus Snape. And a figure stood next to him. Harry squinted. It couldn't be! he thought...

It was...

Join us tomorrow for chapter 5!