Saturday, June 18, 2005

Don't moo at me with those puppy dog eyes

So, up here in the Witness Protection Program it has been raining almost nonstop for a week. There are floods, etc.

Anyway, today on the way home I passed a field and saw all the cows out there in the rain. They were huddled up against each other, presumably for warmth, and did not look like happy cows.

Now, I'd like to preface what I'm about to say by averring that I am not an animal-rights guy. I had chicken and pork for dinner, and I'll eat a hamburger any time without qualms. That being said, it certainly appeared to me that the cows were miserable out there in the rain.

[Think about it. have you ever worn leather out in pelting rain? It sucks, doesn't it?]

Why am I bringing all of this up? Well, it seems to me that misery implies a certain awareness of one's surroundings. And awareness--in this sense--seems to imply a sort of intelligence, more than is generally ascribed to cows. Following this logic through, it brings up some disturbing ramifications.

One of the many things I will be sure to discuss with Marcellus tonight over steak at Colorado's.

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