Monday, June 13, 2005

Jessica, we hardly knew ye

Okay: to raise the level of discourse here, I ask the question, "When did Jessica Simpson turn into a whore?"

Seriously: when she first came on the scene she was beautiful, but squeaky clean, yes? I seem to remember her talk all the time about how she was a Christian and everything. Then her videos started getting a bit sexier, but were still miles away from the Britneys and Christinas of the world.

Then she got married and showed the world she was an idiot, but a successful one. I'm not sure that's either here or there, but I bring it up just in case it's relevant.

Because of the fame that came from her marriage (and subsquent TV show Newlyweds), Jessica landed the part of Daisy Duke in the upcoming DUKES OF HAZZARD movie. When I first heard about this I was disturbed that blonde Jessica would play Daisy, but when I heard that Uncle Jesse was being portrayed by Willie Nelson, and Burt Reynolds was attempting Boss Hogg, I at least thought it might be passable. I mean, let's be honest: as much as I loved that show as a kid, it was pretty dumb to start with, so Jessica Simpson makes an inspired choice. (Along with Seann William Scott as Bo and Johnny Knoxville as Luke, both fairly stupid in their own right.)

But a few days ago the first music video to the movie arrives. Worst yet, it's a remake of "These Boots were made for walking" by Nancy Sinatra. This alone would be enough to make old Blue Eyes turn over in his grave, but the video itself.....

But don't just take my word for it. Watch the Jessica Simpson cover of "These Boots were made for Walking" right now.

There is no nudity or anything like that, so it's "Quincy-safe" (although his wife may have a different idea). But still....it's tremendously disturbing. I mean, not that I was EVER a fan, but somebody please tell me, what happened to Jessica Simpson? Who thought this was a good idea?

Okay, mabe that's a stupid question. Sex-appeal sells. But not forever. Does Jessica really want to go down this path? I mean, there is a part of that video that looks more like Christina Aguillera's "Dirrrrrty" than anything else.

[One of the biggest problems is her use of eye-liner, which is one more reason why eye liner is the biggest scourge this world faces today. But more on that later.]

Anyway, if you have Windows Media Player you can watch the video, and then post your comment? What's up with Jessica? Any theories?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Perhaps Jessica thinks that she doesn't have the talent for long-term appeal, and as such is going to milk her time in the Sun for all it's worth. The video does seem to provide support for the "large-holed earring theory" I've been working on. The hypothesis goes that the larger the hole in an earring, the more of a skank the girl is. Take note of this the next time you are out in public, especially if you are around someone you know to be a hoochie. Mothers, make a note of your son's woman's ears.

Anonymous said...

I am more disappointed by the fact that about 50% of her songs are now covers.