Women and Underwear!

Even though this weekend was insanely busy with finishing the script, I had to make time Monday to have lunch, because one of my readers flew up here to meet me! (Actually, she had work in the area, but my version sounds better).

At first I was nervous (never having met her in real life) that she might be working for one of my enemies, and be attempting to wipe me out, but what’s life without risk, right?

We met at Applebee’s. I ordered one of their fabulous flavored lemonades (Raspberry), and only after I started sucking it down did the server mention that there were no refills. After that, even getting refills on regular lemonade and water was like pulling teeth. (One thing I don’t like about Canada.)

But that’s not why I wanted to post. “Casey” was very interesting, despite the fact that she got Johnny Depp, Sean Penn and Brad Pitt confused. (Honestly, outside of Corky on LIFE GOES ON, who would do this? But I digress.)

Somehow during the conversation we started talking about her sisters and she mentioned buying underwear for them. This totally cracked me up, because as far as I know, no guy would willingly buy underwear for his brother if the world depended on it. (Right now my brother Achmed, who doesn’t even read this column, just sat up and felt pain.)

Casey said it was a girl thing, and this seemed reasonable. I once worked with this girl named “Heidi,” who claimed that when women were newly in a relationship with guys, they wouldn’t go to the bathroom around them. (We’re not talking about peeing here, in case you were confused.)

I was flabbergasted. “What do you do?” I asked.

“Hold it.” She responded. Heidi went on further to tell me that once she was traveling with this guy for a week, in the same hotel rooms, and didn’t go to the bathroom once. I get a stomach ache just thinking about it.

So, I have no problem believing that women will do the craziest things imaginable. Seriously—and I mean no disrespect here—you’re all lunatics and should be considered such by the Law.

However, the bathroom thing at least makes a twisted kind of sense. Some guys might get turned off by the idea that—gasp!—a girl’s stomach does the same thing to food that it does to guys’.

[Hyperion is always looking for an excuse to post pictures like this]

But I’m not so sure about the underwear thing. Could this be just Casey’s bizarre fetish, or is this legitimate? Casey’s explanation was that well-fitting underwear is hard to find, and so when a girl finds a brand/kind that fits, she is likely to buy some for her sister.

So I ask you, the Hyperion Nation, to weigh in. If you’re a girl, have you or would you ever buy underwear for a sister? And just to be fair, are there any brave guys out there who have brought drawers for their bro?