The Faye List

So, the other day I decided to make a list of my favorite Fay/Fayes. This is just one of the things you do at 4:30 in the morning when you can’t figure out how to write a character into a scene that’s already chock full and you’ll do anything to not be working.

I started with my least favorite Faye, from the web-comic Questionable Content. Hyperion Institute member Laureate got me into the comic, and I enjoy it, but the character Faye annoys me to no end. She’s rude to everyone, and everyone seems to forgive her as if she’s a quality person underneath. Grrr.

Tina Fey would be next. For some strange reason that I can’t quite fathom, I find her inordinately attractive in those glasses when she does the fake news on SNL. However, the fact that she’s on SNL in the first place places her low on the list.

Fay Valentine goes next on the list, of COWBOY BEBOP fame. Those who are familiar simply know that COWBOY BEBOP is the best of its kind ever made. We don’t blame those who don’t know, but we are sad for you people (kind of like how it’s not someone’s fault if they’ve never been to Chik-Fil-A, but you still grieve for them). Anyway, Fay Valentine is this annoying greedy selfish woman who still manages to be interesting and compelling at the same time. Her back-story is breathtaking, but I won’t say any more in case one of you checks it out.

This would have left me with Library Faye at the top of the list. She works every Tuesday, and I always manage to go on that day (funny how that works). She wears this really cool butterfly necklace that changes colors when heated (sad to say I have not managed to see this yet, but one remains hopeful), and she actually blushes! You remember when girls blushed, right? It’s a lost art.

Except, I was at the library yesterday, and I mentioned my “Faye” list to Faye, and she mentions Fay Wray, of the original KING KONG fame. Now, if you were on top of a name-list, wouldn’t you want to keep quiet about some leggy blonde who is attracted to beasts? (Something which, if you’ve met me, would be an obvious plus.) I mentioned this to Library Faye, but while she was chagrined, she said she wouldn’t want to win the Faye contest in a loophole.

It’s this kind of honor (sadly lacking in so many young women of Today) that almost made me give her bonus points and move her up the list, but then I remembered how Fay Wray would scream and jump into the nearest man’s arms. Hard to compete with that.

Edit: I totally thought I had included Faye Dunaway. She would be above Tina Fey. On the plus side, she's forever hot in BONNIE AND CLYDE. On the not-so-plus side, she's not that hot in everything else.