Thursday, February 02, 2006

Screen Beans

My dad's secretary sent him this. I don't know where she got it, but I cracked up.

African Bean, The (1951)****

Sweet tale of romance between prim missionary lady and coarse boat captain on a dangerous river voyage to escape from jelly bean pirates.

Beanfire of the Vanities (1990)**

Tough-as-nails lawman, Beanie Fyfe breaks down after backing squad car into Aunt Bean's kitchen, starting fire that engulfs house, two apple pies and a peach cobbler.

Bean-Heath, The Planet of the Apes (1970)***

Apes, tired of discriminatory behavior by humans, hijack space shuttle, blast off to find their own place in the solar system. They unwittingly crash in England and claim Bean-Heath for their capitol. Zany ending includes cameos by members of the Royal Family.

Bean Hur (1959)****

Spectacular screen version of popular book about a hard-driving charioteer. See vintage Poster.

Beanji (1974)***

Cute tale of dog who goes bonkers on sugar high after wolfing down five pounds of jelly beans.

Beany & Clyde (1967)**

'50's TV puppet teams up with '30's bank robber.

Bedtime for Beanzo (1951)**

Silly comedy about a chimp and a future U.S. president.

Fried Green Beans (1992)*****

Sweet, heretofore untold tale of Mrs. Green Beans during hard times in rural Georgia.

The Unbearable Lightness of Bean (1988)*

Documentary on Harry Hubeani spends too much time trying to disprove feats of levitation.

Mutiny on the Beanty (1935)*****

English ship sent to collect jelly bean plants from South Pacific islands runs into rough seas for Capt. Bligh when he learns Christian is a spy for the Beaneluxe Countries.

Of Human Beandage (1964)**

Based on the classic Somerset Maugham novel of a young doctor and his obsessive quest for jelly beans.

The Clan of the Cave Bean (1986)***

Rollicking tales of bean tasting in prehistoric times - thought to have inspired the Canterbury Tales.

The Days of Beans and Roses (1962)****

Wrenching story of beanoholics - superb acting.

The Importance of Bean Earnest (1952)*****

Based on Oscar Wilde's terrific play which some have called "The most perfect British comedy since the Reformation".

The Importance of Bean Earnest Goes to Camp (1987)*

Awful, twisted remake of the original classic.

No comments: