Why can't I quit you?

Oh, people; I'm hoping that Friday Theme Day (FTD, unless someone comes up with a less-floral title) is going to be great. We have big plans.

Speaking of all things florist, I read this great article in the paper about the jokes surrounding BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. (For the record, I haven't seen the movie, but plan to bring you the review a little closer to the Oscars.)

Apparently, Brokeback has hit on the cultural zeitgeist. (That's a big word that basically means the consciousness of the culture. For a more exact definition, check out what Dictionary.com has to say.)

I guess it's now "okay" to make jokes about the movie. Even GLAAD (who, despite their cheery name are usually the first to take offense and ANYTHING) has said its okay. Neil Guiliano, president of the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation said, "When a person or a piece of artistic work reaches a certain level of acceptability, it's OK to joke about it. The whole buzz is this is a great movie."

There you go.

Of course, one suspects that at least some of the humor is mean-edged, meant to hide angry leanings best left....in the closet, shall we say? Still: as Mae West said, "It's better to be looked over than overlooked."

Besides, have you heard any good MUNICH jokes lately? (Frankly, I'm not sure why. Olympic athletes. Gunned down at a festival of international competition and cooperation, in the very country of the Holocaust. Where are you, comics of the world?)

On the same note, where are the CAPOTE jokes, the CRASH jokes, THE GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK jokes?

Sigh. Oh well. What we're left with is still some funny stuff. A sampling:

CONAN O'BRIEN
"Today, the controversial new movie Brokeback Mountain opens about two gay cowboys. Apparently you can tell the characters are gay because they are dressed like Cowboys."

JAY LENO
"Hey, just a week to go until Elton John's wedding. You know where Elton's honeymooning? Brokeback Mountain."
"Ninety percent of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which has got to be a big surprise to their wives? 'Hey, hon, I'm going over to Bob's. We're catching the 10 o'clock showing of Brokeback Mountain. Don't wait up.'"

KATE CLINTON
"All homosexuals are mandated to see Brokeback Mountain. We get our 'Gay Card' punched on the way out.......It's such a primal American archetype. It's the westward ho and we all know her.....They [hetero audiences] want to be homo-hip and know what's going on."

DAVID LETTERMAN
Top 10 signs you are a gay cowboy
#10 Your saddle is Versace
#9 Instead of Home on the Range, you sing It's Raining Men
#8 You enjoy ridin', ropin', and redecoratin'.
#7 Sold your livestock to buy tickets to Mama Mia
#6 After watching reruns of Gunsmoke you have to take a cold shower
#4 You've been lassoed more times than most steers
#3 You're wearing chaps, yet your "ranch" is in Chelsea
#2 Instead of a saloon, you prefer a salon

#1 You love riding, but you don't have a horse

and my favorite,

#5 Native Americans refer to you as Dances With Men

Finally, another in the long line of Brokebak Mountain poster spoofs. I thought the one I posted earlier of Bert and Ernie was untouchable, but I was wrong: enjoy