maybe if he'd called her a hungry hungry hippo...

Okay, so this story is a little bit vulgar, but I don't present it to be that way, but simply because it was so funny.

As many of you know, strange things happen to or around me all the time. The other night I was at Denny's trying to write some Fagin Dupree, and these two guys sit down next to me. One guy was obviously a total nerd, the kind of guy who could name every Orc in LOTR individually. The other guy was about as queer as you can get. (And I only mention this because it comes up later.)

So the first guy is lamenting that his girl broke up with him. Apparently he tried some "dirty talk" when they were hot and heavy. It seems the term she objected to was being called a "cock-hungry whore."

[Note to guys: obviously being unmarried--and therefore a virgin--I can't attest to this personally, but it seems to be that if you're going to try something like this, you might want to feel out whether the girl would be into it. I mean, some girls might be flattered, whether they hear it in intimate situations, or over the loud speaker at work. And others, I'm afraid, will not.]

Anyway, nerd-boy's girl didn't appreciate it too much, and left right there. He couldn't understand. "I mean, I was complimenting her, right!" he said fervently. "I was saying she was totally good and everything." He continued. And then the kicker, said (and I'm not making this up) with all sincerity: "I mean, who wouldn't be flattered by being called a cock-hungry whore?"

He looks over to his friend, who responds very drolly. "You're asking the wrong guy, my friend."