More Care Bears

My dad and I went to Colorado’s the other night, and as is my custom, I asked Questions of the Night. (This is where I come up with three questions to ask my companions, servers, and any hot passers by who might be interested.)

The first question I borrowed from a few weeks ago: Which TV show should be made into an opera? (Actually, originally I had “Which ‘80s TV show,” but my dad astutely pointed out that our servers wouldn’t know 80s TV, or as he put it, “These chicks weren’t around then.” Okay, honesty compels me to admit that he might not have used the words “chicks,” but since he doesn’t read this site I feel embiggened to say whatever I want. In fact, on the way home someone cut us off and Papa popped a cap in their ass. Say that five times fast.)

I came up with THE A-TEAM, and dad wanted M*A*S*H, which would be sweet (in fact, we were even trying to do the songs, including one great scene where the docs and nurses are operating and the bodies rise up and sing). Our server (I don’t know here well enough yet to give her an alias, so I’ll just call her J), had E.R. which would work too, and her friend L came over and suggested THE SOPRANOS, which is such a good idea they should actually do this now.

The second question was a tribute to the other day’s Top Ten List: which TV show was cancelled before it’s time. I stuck with MY SO-CALLED LIFE, while dad went with THE EQUALIZER, which as you will recall was on my list of shows I wish they would remake. L said FRIENDS, but she’s young so I forgive her, and J had FREAKS AND GEEKS, also on my list, so that earned her some cool points.

The last question was the money question, and guys; a bit of advice: you want girls to spend all their time around you: ask them questions about Care Bears. Chicks love that….stuff.

This particular question was: If they were going to name a Care Bear after you, what would his/her name be, and what would go on the tummy? (It’s such a good question, I plan on asking every hot server I meet from now on.)

My dad came up with Cool Bear, with a blue sky and white sail boat. J had Spontaneous Bear, sporting an Exclamation point, and hot-pink. L (who, to be fair, opined first) had Clueless Bear, lime green, with a Question mark. (Clueless Bear would be genial, but occasionally wander off the clouds and have to be rescued.) I had Megalomania Bear, who would be black, with a white streak in his hair, and on his tummy would be a mad scientist trying to do Care Bear Frankenstein as Tenderheart and Sunshine cart him off in a Care Bear straight-jacket. Megalomania Bear would always be trying to take over Care-A-Lot, but the other Bears put up with him because he’s crazy and adorable.

Just like me. (I’m totally adorable. Just ask all my Ex-girlfriends. Well, most of them. Hmmm. On second thought, don’t ask them. Ask my mom, but preferably not right after I do the Jumble faster than she. Actually, just take my word for it.)