It's a Zoo out there

This is not Not NOT safe for work. Zoo Magazine lists their 100 Best Bodies for 2006. And because it's a British publication, some of these women seem a bit sans top. (Why can't we have publishing rules like that? Over there they put topless women in the newspapers! I think they call it Sudocuze, which might be the funniest thing I've written in days.)

I totally should not be doing this on Monkey Barn. This kind of post belongs on HyperionX. But you caught me on a weird day. It's the weekend. And, I don't really care if you like it or not. You're not required to look at half-naked women.

But if you do (make sure you click on individual pix to make them bigger, and then click again for bigger yet; more on bigger yet in a minute)......

#19 (Kyla Cole) would be in my Top Five, but dishonorable mention for her poor personal grooming choices.

Bad picture of #5 (Jessica Alba) although obviously even a poor-res scan gets Jessica in any top five. Interestingly, it says she hates cats. (Somewhere Schrodinger crosses one more hopeful off her "For that Bitch, I'd switch Teams" list.)

#2 (Brittany Bratt) has way too big a breasts, but for her alone it seems to work. No wonder she was Miss Nude Australia. Why can't they televise that pageant?

[By the way, and I know men are going to call me a traitor, but I really have to object to some of these women's breast size. It borders on the grotesque. In general I am totally not in favor of breast jobs, but I can admit that some women do look better. And of course usually you go bigger. But that much bigger? Why can't they be more natural with their body type? Don't get me wrong; I'm not hating on large breasts, but large breasts should go on a larger girl. I'm not saying the girl needs to be Hossified, but she needs to have a frame to support such a body type; the prototypical load-bearing bar matron, if you will.]

[And while I'm on the subject of breast jobs, who decided it was sexier to have these round perfect orbs as breasts? Yes they are perfectly sculpted, but they're not even close to natural. A breast is supposed to be more tear-shaped, you know? These women are idiots. Or maybe it's just me.]

My Top Three, at least as far as these pictures go:

#35 (Jodi Albert) - Why Jodi, who isn't any prettier than anyone else, and isn't even naked, for EVON's sake? Because she has a little bit of flesh on her! If women knew how men actually liked this, they'd eat that dessert and be much happier.

#45 (Kerri Guiney) - If for no other reason than her breasts seem to be real.

#79 (Natasha Marley) - Maybe those breasts aren't real, but they are tear-shaped, and they seem reasonably proportional to her body (at least in Modelville).


By the way, Tobias's favorites are #55 (Nikkala Stott), because he says all redheads are sexy, and #30 (Abi Titmuss), because he says Abi's body is just like Lady Jane Scarlett's (although how Tobias would know that is something I've yet to determine).


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