Sunday, August 06, 2006

Love is a battlefield!

So, yeah, I've been doing the dating thing now for about 6 months. It's been...interesting, to say the least. In this time I've learned quite a few things about dating and men in general, and I thought that I'd impart my new-found wisdom to my beloved Monkey Barners.

Today's lesson: Cyber-stalking

Yeah, it can be a little weird to Google someone (and I love the fact that the word 'Google' is now used as a verb, by the way) because it can make you feel kind of like a psycho. So I went on a date with this guy I'll refer to as 'Emo Glasses' and I didn't bother to do the appropriate Google search.

The date went OK, but Emo Glasses never called me back. That's cool, I think he was a little too chaotic for me anyway. However, out of sheer boredom the next day, I did a post-date Google...and found his Livejournal. (As a side note, don't be an idiot and use your real name in your Livejournal, people. Duh.)

His Livejournal seemed to be devoted to a girl named Ingrid and how much he hated her. Apparently, he'd taken her out a few times and the only thing she had to offer for conversation was how many times she'd gotten drunk with her friend. (How old was this girl, anyway? 19?) So after a few months (yes, months) she dumped him and he proceeded to tear her apart in his Livejournal, even making up a completely terrible poem about the experience and then sending said poem to the girl. And he documented it all for posterity in his online journal. Under his real name.

...And this, my dear friends, is why you should always Google someone before embarking upon any sort of quasi-romantic excursion, at the very least. If you can dig through their trash or hire a private investigator, that's even better. His journal read like a spurned eyeliner-wearing, Bauhaus-loving Gothy highschooler and not a guy who is in his thirties. Two minutes at my trusty home computer could have saved me wasting an evening with this dork. Gah.

But the worst part is that now I've been checking his damn journal every few days to see if he'd written anything about me. (So far, no, but there could be a resentful haiku about me posted any time now).

Love,
Sea Hag

5 comments:

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

yeah, love (or lack thereof) stinks.

we call it 'google-stalking' here. It can backfire, however...I once looked up a guy to find that his dad was an astronaut, and I spent the whole time waiting for him to bring it up, and when he did, I had to fake surprise and interest.

'Jax said...

I googled my own name, and it actually showed up. True, there seem to be a bunch of other folks who also have my name (one who shot putts, and another who played highschool football), but I am in there as well.

And for those interested, the blog where I devise easy-to-implement terrorist chemical warefare strikes and savage vengeance against all the girls who wouldn't dance with me back in junior high is NOT in my actual name. It's in Hyperion's. ;-)

Sea Hag said...

Well, there's quite a bit of faking interest and making mind-numbing small-talk when you're out on a date anyway, you just have to be a savvy player and not blurt out something like 'I know!' when someone mentions an astronaut dad or plans to implement chemical warfare on all the girls who thought you had cooties when you were 12. It's all a telemarketing scam!

Dominique said...

actually my uh whatever he is gets intrigued when i blurt out stuff...either thinking i'm amazingly psychic or that he told me...but he also knows i've reached things...but at times he's closed mouth and almost taunts / tempts me to find it out myself...cat and mouse...up there w/ chess, eh?

Cassandra3383 said...

I've had a few horror stories with online dating... I thought the site that I was using was good but it was crappy because I found an even better site, webdate*com...thankfully all the guys I met and dated are cute! Oh, yeah...and nice too!