Monkey Barn Interviews (VI)

[Today we interview Koz, the very first person added to Money Barn. Koz has his own site, which he humbly calls "The Koz of all Things Great and Wonderful." You should check it out some time.]

Hyperion: Welcome peeps, to another edition of "Get to know your Monkey Barner." Today we're with Koz, and we'll just jump right into the questions: Why do you think Monkey Barn is the most popular website?

Koz: It's gotta be the motto, you never know what it will be from day to day. I mean it could make fun of your mother or it could be poetry. You never know what you'll get - sorta like the prize in cracker jacks.

Hyperion: that's a great answer. How about this: The best insight into Koz is________

Koz: like Michael Stipe he's losing his religion

Hyperion: I'll be sure to tell your mother! Okay, moving on: What's been your favorite Monkey Barn group project so far, and why? What kind of group project would you like to do?

Koz: I liked the story that we all wrote where we had 5 minutes to write. Even though I was censored it was quite fun and spontaneous. I'd like to do that again. I hate posting artwork by the way

Hyperion: And artwork hates you! Okay, that made no sense, so we'll move on. What has changed you more: the birth of your first child, or meeting and subsequently befriending Hyperion?

Koz: Changed me how?

Hyperion: emotionally, personally, mentally, psychologically, spiritually, sexually

Koz: If you mean I'm up all hours of the night and get no sleep, all my priorities have changed and my entire life revolves around one person who can't seem to do anything for himself - then meeting Hyperion has changed me more

Hyperion: (I kept waiting for the line, "and likes to suckle my wife's breasts") Yours is a good answer, though, which brings us to the next one: We're in the Monkey Barn clubhouse, and you get to cook the very first meal with all of us together (or, hire a band of gypsies to do it): Describe the meal to us, in full detail

Koz: Actually my house elves would cook the meal. It would be just like going to Fogo de Chao. Unlimited meat sliced off the skewer and the best damned salad bar in the world.

Hyperion: that sounds pretty sweet. So, what's your best "Koz and Hyperion" story, where you can't give the details, you can only reference it and raise your eyebrows suggestively?

Koz: Well we were at this place with breasts, not Chick-Fil-A (if you know what I mean). And we were drinking cokes (if you catch my drift) And then Hyperion had to pet this kitty cat (if you know what I'm talking about) And then we screwed this chick in the back room (if you know what I mean)

Hyperion: I don’t know about that, but as I recall, there's a picture out there somewhere of you in a dog collar! Anyway, last question: Your wife shows up to the Monkey Barn Clubhouse, and demands you two have a threesome with someone. Who is it with?

Koz: ok well I’d have to pick my wife as one of course. And the other would have to be Tracy Lynn just because I'm intrigued by her seductiveness, and my wife's a redhead too. That much fury in one room; somebody's gonna get a hurtin'!

Hyperion: And that does it! Thanks again and Koz, and join us next time, when we find out, "What's in your Barner?"