The Answers You've Been Waiting For

My apologies for this belated posting. You see, I was all geared up for this, but when I learned that my answers would be smooshed together in the in the same post as all these other riffraff... well, I couldn't have that. Despite much pleading and gnashing of teeth, I was unable to persuade Hypey to post my answers separately, so really, it's all his fault. I'm sure you all understand.

1) Do you chew your mashed potatoes?

I'd drink them if I could.

2) If terrorists got their hands on massive quantities of a toxic biological agent and threatened to release it, exterminating all life on earth, unless you had sex with a internationally famous person of the same gender, who would you choose to save the world with?

Bill Clinton. He'd feel my pain.

3) What words or phrase would you like displayed on your tombstone (assuming you had one)?

My princess was in another castle.

4) If you had to name your child after food, what would you call him/her?

Since I'm going to have twins, I'd have to go with O'Rangello and Le Monjello.

5) What's your super hero power?

If I could have a super hero power, I'd choose dancing. I suck at it. Ladies love it. It would be the single greatest advancement of my sex life since the Internet.

6) Do I know what Rhetorical means?

Don't absquatulate with me. I hate when people do that.

7) Do you think that the FCC should develop V-Chips that allow adults to block tv programs from even themselves, thereby preventing their watching 2 Seinfeld reruns, followed by 3 hours of Law and Order?

If they could do that, they should just develop a chip to project images of our favorite shows directly into our brains. Then we can download them from Napster. Or better yet, we can download entire books and break Ken Jenning's Jeopardy record.

8) What fairy tale best describes your life so far and what character are you?

I'm the frog in the The Frog Prince. I just need someone to have a little faith in me and they'll see what I'm really worth.

9) When somebody uses a word that you don't understand, what do you do? Do you ignore it and nod your head, or do you simply absquatulate and look it up in the dictionary?

I don't and say that I did.

10) If you were a piñata, what would you be full of?

Liver and a nice Chianti.



Bear