Letter of the Week

We get a lot of screwy letters here at the Institute. It’s part of my job to filter them, make sure that only the legitimate ones get through to Hyperion. We got one this week that I just had to share. The only thing is, I didn’t tell him about it, so if you talk to him, please don’t mention it.

You remember how Hyperion, inspired by Claire, decided to do his Oscar Wrap up as an Audio Post? Well, there was a response. The next day I got this letter:

Dear Mr. Hyperion

In your recent recorded “Oscar Wrap up,” you referred to the term “C’est La Vie.” The expression is French, and means “That’s Life!”

I don’t fault you for not knowing that, although it is a common expression, but you should know the pronunciation. You pronounced it “Sest-la-Vigh,” the last syllable as one might say “thigh.” The correct pronunciation is “Say-La-Vee.”

I don’t mean to nitpick, but you do seem to have a grand opinion of yourself, and I thought you would want to know the correct way to say the phrase. If you do no pronounce words correctly, even if they are of a different language, it will hold you back. People are not attracted to a dunce.

Let me know if I can be of any further assistance,

[Name withheld, but obviously a woman]

I didn’t even bother to show this email to Hyperion. With the mood he’s been in…who know WHAT he would have done. I also took out her name and email, so she could avoid some embarrassment, but maybe she’ll have the courage to proclaim herself.

I was pretty amazed that anyone might think Hyperion actually doesn’t know how to say that term, but I didn’t mention this in my letter to her. I gave her what she wanted.

Dear [name withheld],

Thanks for your letter and your concern. The truth is that Hyperion is illiterate. This has been a dark secret we’ve kept from the public, but after the courage you showed in writing us, I thought you’d want to know.

This is why Hyperion has interns; we do all the writing for him. He gets a general “idea,” but then we do all the grunt work and bring it to the web. As for the Audio post in question, the talented writers on staff wrote it for him, and explained it to him. But then he tried to memorize it. When it came to the phrase “C’est la Vie,” he forgot what they told him and tried to sound it out off the page. You heard the disastrous results.

It’s a full time job keeping Hyperion’s secret and making this site look good. Now and then we let something slip. Thanks for having our back.

Tobias