Friday, July 14, 2006

Reasons why I hate Schrodinger (#4583)

I was watching a few minutes of SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE, my favorite scene, one of the funniest scenes in the history of movies.

And Schrödinger ruined it!

Let me back up.

Yesterday Schrödinger wrote this brilliant post on her messed up Gaydar. Men she likes, men she imagines marrying (mostly for the wedding night) turn out to be gay, which sort of ruins it.

(As she rightly points out, Men don’t have this problem.)

Of course, men are victims too. Supposedly Victor Garber is gay. Mind you, obviously no one at the Hyperion Institute has a problem with gay people. Shoot, the Evil Kitties of the Realm, in the very name of S.K.I.T.T.L.E. is gaydom there (Sexy Kittle International Termination Team (Lesbians Encouraged))

But at the same time, when a man has a hero, he naturally thinks of the hero as like himself, and as I am straight, that’s how I look at it.

(I suppose, now that I think about it, I have some gay heroes too; I’m just referring to men I idolize for their dashing ways, or as Carlos, the men who make the panties drop.)

Anyway, years ago when Kevin Spacey was outed I was so depressed I slept for three days (although I got over it.)

And now Victor Garber! Victor Garber is supposed to be a sexy older-man spy!!!

Oh well.

Back to why I hate Schrödinger.

After reading her great post, I was watching SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE. You know that scene where Rita Wilson starts talking about AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER, and how Carey Grant finally sees the wheelchair, and while she’s talking Rita starts crying, as Victor Garber and Tom Hanks look on in horror.

But then they cap it off by pretending to cry over THE DIRTY DOZEN! You remember the scene. Total classic.

But this time, when Victor Garber goes “Stop it! Stop It!” and slaps at Tom Hanks while pretending to weep (as if he were a woman), the whole scene has a brand new context for me.

Thanks a lot, Schro.

(I can’t completely hate her, though. Her picture is one of the posts below this one, and I could never hate on that)

1 comment:

Schrodinger's Kitten said...

You know - people are going to think I'm a web slut if you keep up claiming all these photos are me!

and I've now gotten over my homophobia. I now imagine Victor Garber and Cary Grant together. It works for me.