rd or used, because some of us need a good laugh, and some of us need new material.
* McDonald's represents 43% of total U.S. fast food market
~Lost Goddess
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Every now and then, a new TV show comes around that could really be something special. It is pretty hard to tell just from a first episode, of course. Usually pilots are different from the rest of the series. Changes are made. The cast has to gel, feel their way into characters. But sometimes you can tell. You could tell with CSI, now, what—7 years ago? I could tell with Lost and House almost immediately. Tonight a new show premieres on NBC: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. It might—just might—be one of those shows.
The show is about an SNL-type show, behind the scenes. The cast will most likely be pretty big, but the two main characters are Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford. For West Wing Fans, Bradley was Josh Lymon. Imagine Josh, but with a recovering coke problem.
As for Matthew Perry…you know how
Imagine all that pain brought to the surface. The humor is still there, but gone are the attempts to hide behind one-liners. Mark it down: Matthew Perry absolutely without a doubt will receive an Emmy Nomination for his character.
But tonight big things have happened, and they are called back to save the show. What are these big things? Well, that I do not want to ruin for you, as it is a pretty great TV moment, but let us just say that if the name Paddy Chayefvsky means anything to you, a treat is in store.
Even if it is not, you are in for an interesting ride. Creator Aaron Sorkin seems to know what goes on behind the scenes of a TV show. Not only has he created big shows before (like West Wing), but he actually had a show in the past about a TV show: Sports Night. (A show so good but so overlooked that I feel compelled to review the DVDs later in the week.)
If none of those shows ring a bell, where have you been the last few years? You should at least recognize Sorkin from The American President. He is known for his rapid-fire dialogue in talented enemble casts.
The only reservatin I had was Amanda Peet. I have always found her totally devoid of any talent other than taking off her clothes on Camera, and she seems way too young and stupid to be that awesome. However, Hyperion will reserve judgement, for a while. I have a feeling the rest of the cast should make up for her, which you can read about here.
What else can I say? If Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip works, it could be the show everyone is talking about this year. Hey, I am all for well-made procedurals (same type of show each week) and I love well-made cop shows. And I love the genre stuff if it rocks. But when is the last time we had a mainstream ensemble with this level of talent? Not since the heyday of West Wing. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip could be to Television what West Wing was to politics, LA Law was to, well, lawyers, what ER was to hospitals, what Pat Robertson was to all things evil.
Okay, that last one was a joke. But Pat Robertson actually comes up in the pilot, as does the insanity that is the FCC everytime someone dares to mention a controversial subject matter.
ACCCCCHHHHH!
I must stop, or I will reveal the entire plot. Look: just watch it, okay? I do not have much to live for these days, and it would make me feel good if I got at least some of you to do the right thing for once.
A controversial British film portraying the fictional assassination of President
George Bush has secured a distribution deal for the US.
kapgar -- [noun]: A person who falls into an outhouse and dies 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
Although I think now would be the time to start going by my given name as this sounds like so much more fun...
kevin -- [noun]: A poltergeist sent back in time to change the course of history forever 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
Think you, ladies, my kingdom you can take?
Abuse you of this thought my plan will make.
The Barn and all it's Glory ever Mine
Oppose me and my Lightnings you will find.
Little Pigs, Little Pigs: let me in
Or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow you Barn in!
, writing under threat of torture, and not responsible
81 | Hello, gorgeous. | FUNNY GIRL | 1968 |
| 82 | Toga! Toga! | NATIONAL LAMPOON'S ANIMAL HOUSE | 1978 |
| 83 | Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make. | DRACULA | 1931 |
| 84 | Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast. | KING KONG | 1933 |
| 85 | My precious. | THE LORD OF THE RINGS: TWO TOWERS | 2002 |
| 86 | Attica! Attica! | DOG DAY AFTERNOON | 1975 |
| 87 | Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a star! | 42ND STREET | 1933 |
| 88 | Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't you forget it. You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go! | ON GOLDEN POND | 1981 |
| 89 | Tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper. | KNUTE ROCKNE ALL AMERICAN | 1940 |
| 90 | A martini. Shaken, not stirred. | GOLDFINGER | 1964 |
xo,I'm as small as an ant, as big as a whale. I'll approach like a breeeze, but can come like a gale. By some I get hit, but all have shown fear. I'll dance to the music, though I can't hear. Of names I have many, of names I have one.
I'm as slow as a snail, but from me you can't run. What am I?
 Goya's Ghosts (2006) | |
| Padme flashes her Naboo-bies. | |
"Great pic! Nice to finally have some competition at that Barn. I was beginning to fear my hotness would start to erode next to some of the girls you have in there now. At least this way there's competition!"
Hyperion: Welcome, Axis and Allies once again to "Get to Know your Monkey Barner." Today we have Sea Hag, original member and all around star. Jumping right in, how can Monkey Barn achieve world Peace?
Sea Hag: By encouraging everyone to get laid more.
Hyperion: consider it done! Speaking of which, how did you come up with "Love is a Battlefield" ?
Sea Hag: I've had many an adventure in the Wide World o' Dating, first of all, and some of the more...um, 'interesting' people I've come across need to be shared with the world at large for the purpose of being mocked severely. Also, I wanted to give props to Pat Benetar.
Hyperion: speaking of PB, if you could add one famous person to Monkey Barn, who would it be and why?
Sea Hag: Wow, that's a tough one. I could go for the MacGyver answer because he'd be so versatile. Or I could pick someone like Paris Hilton to make us all look smarter and provide us all with an example of what an oxygen thief looks like. But I think I'm going to go with Nathan Fillion because he's so charming and funny, and he will always have a special place in my heart. And my panties.
Hyperion: I'm not sure that will fly. As should be obvious by the guys we keep around, I'm not too keen on any of them being better looking than I. But moving on (and oddly, for the third question in a row, appropriately segueing), how long have you been an actual sea hag? Were you born that way? Was it an evil curse?
Sea Hag: First of all, Nathan Fillion is so super-fine that he will make all the Monkey Barn mens all hot and bothered. Also, if they are really nice to the ladies, maybe they can watch. Anyway, out of my panties and back to the question at hand.
I've been an actual Sea Hag for about 13 years. I believe it was a combination of fabulous genetics and a curse that made me the Sea Hag I am today. But you tell the story of my origins much better, my dear Hyperion.
Hyperion: if only I wasn't bound by Overload/Barner privilege! Speaking of the clubhouse, let's say you're going to organize a game night. What games do we play? How does it all go? Give us a play by play
Sea Hag: Game night, eh? Well, we would play classics like Scrabble and Clue...except we'd be playing the Drunken Versions of said games. So after a while the Scrabble players would be making up words and not be able to keep score, and the Clue players will try to actually injure each other with the tiny weapons they put in that game. Someone will start to sing, a few ladies will take off their shirts.
Several people will puke. Two or three people will regret hooking up in the bathroom. I will wake up underneath the coffee table.
Hyperion: you won't believe this, but that totally leads to the next question: you know how at Braves games they play a snippet of a song when someone comes up to bat, and they get to pick their song? What song would you want played when you entered the room?
Sea Hag: me talking about puke and drunkenness leads to a question about my theme song?
Hyperion: you said there was singing!
Sea Hag: Um...right. Well, Chipper Jones already has the best intro song with 'Crazy Train', so I'm going to have to go with 'Take It Off' by The Donnas.
It's a great 'hooray for penis!' song.
Hyperion: I'm all for that! This leads to our last question. Back to that game night. At the end we decide to play "seven minutes in heaven." The rules say you can take more than one person into the closet with you. Who do you take, and what happens in those seven minutes? Give us a blow by blow
Sea Hag: Heh heh...blow by blow.
Sea Hag: Well, it's pretty obvious that I'd take you, as you're destined to be one of my husbands eventually, so I have to keep you strung along until that day. Anyway, remember that one time I came by on Easter? It'd be like that. Only with more Marshmallow Peeps.
Also, so far no one else has wanted to include me in any of their Monkey Barn shenanigans, so they don't deserve any naked time with me.
Hyperion: Whew! And that's all the time we have. thanks to S.H., and join us next time when we ask, What's in YOUR Barner?
We've got Monkeys....We've got Brittany Bratt. What more could you need?
"God rest the souls of that poor family......and pussy's half price for the next 15 minutes." - Al Swearengen, owner of a saloon (and whorehouse) in Deadwood
All of these "timeouts" are getting to me. I think I'll stop visiting this site.
It reminds me of this restaraunt that kept changing their hours every other month. I would drive by and it seemed like they were never open. I stopped going. Apparently, so did a few other people because the place is now out of business.
What a shame.
Maybe a few people will read this before it gets pulled down.
6:03 AM
To which I answered:
Big loss to lose someone too much of a chicken-shit coward to sign a name to his thoughts.
We only have one rule at the Monkey Barn: if you are going to say something, be man enough to own up to it.
If you ever come out from hiding behind your mommy's skirts you are free to run along and find something more your speed, like Barney.