In fact, Bear has been a Contributor since I first brought on the Motley Crew (I need a better name for them. Any suggestions?), but hasn't actually had any posts. I asked him about this, and his reasons were that he was "tired" and "stressed" from "work." Before you feel sorry for him, Bear plays video games for a living.
(He also mentioned being intimidated by the other Contributors, but I have a hard time believing this. Koz is borderline retarded, Ajax looks like one of the members of the Breakfast Club**--to avoid embarrassing him I won't say who--and as for the women...let's just say that when they visited the Casino last year they were given the Indian Name High Maintenance.** So what's he got to be worried about?)
Sadly, the truth is a bit darker. I asked one of Bear's friends what was going on, and this is the email he sent me,
H-Diddy,^^[While I'm on the subject, this brings up an interesting question: If a cowboy comes onto you in the forest, and nobody's there to see it, do you still have to build a shrine to Judy Garland and/or Barbra Streisand?]
Sorry to break this to ya, but Bears not been working in some time. Every spare moment he gets he spends at the local Theatre watching Brokeback Mountain. He keeps talking about the wonderful acting and scenery and everything, and we're like Dude we get it, but do you have to see it 45 times? I'm starting to worry.
Obviously this is a concern. While I'm sure the movie is fantastic and sure to win many Oscars, I'm frankly looking forward more to the sequel: Brokeback Mountain 2: Lesbian Laredo. May not win as many statues, but I'm betting it takes in more "box" office. (I was going to say money but then I changed it to box office. I really am bad.)
Regardless, it's great to have Bear finally posting. This will be a happy Festivus## for everyone.
** I dis because I love. (Notice how there's no asterisks by Koz's insult)
## I recently found possibly a BETTER day! I should be sleeping, but I'll post that first.
^^What if I called us "H-Diddy and his Murder Hos"???