Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Children

I see in Ajax's comments that he already has proposed names for his child.

Ajax, Ajax, Ajax: you ignorant slut.

You can't name a baby before he/she/it is born. A child, just like a figurine, god, or new pizza flavor, comes into the universe with its own true name already. To arbitrarily impose appellation on the kid beforehand is akin to slavery. You must look at the child and figure out what his/her name really is.

And I'm outstanding at this. You should invite me to take part in the naming. I'm more important that a moyl is to Jews.

As for calling your child Hyperion, you should pray he's that deck.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'll have you know I'm already communicating with my child, and while they haven't indicated a gender, both Caleb and Hanna have been overwhelmingly approved by the baby in utero, three kicks to the bladder and a sudden, radical temperature change downward being affirmative, a kidney-punch followed by severe nausea being a negative.

I am certain, though that his Hypeness will someday grace my child's presence with his illuminating grace and I look avidly forward to the little darling spitting up much of his morning meals all over the Lavender Hyperionic Sash of Office (and possibly the raggedy wife beater Hyperion tends to wear beneath his robes of state).

Anonymous said...

whoo whoo! You go Ajax!

Personal feelings about given names aside my dear Hype, after agonizing over the naming of three children I will say that I agree that not every child born fits the moniker originally chosen by his or her parents and it is then the prudent parent who wisely looks to the child to reveal the name, however, our first two choices were made prior to meeting their current holders and both fit perfectly. Let the happy couple chose as they will then jump in with a "deck" alias. Everyone wins. :)